Do You See the Dot or The Background?
Posted 06-27-2013 at 12:20 PM by WorkingWithYou
Imagine that you had a brand new book with a beautifully illustrated cover with a small flaw. If you were to take that book and show others the amazing cover, some would see past the beautiful illustration and font and focus on the flaw. “Too bad it has a mark on it.” “Look at that mark!”
So many people see the flaws in others and forget to see the positive; they see the dot and not the background. It’s a bit of a trend to look for the negative, but the rewards are so much greater when you are looking for what others are doing right.
Think Before You Criticize
Last week, I received a message from a VA friend who I subcontract for. She was beside herself, as she had just received a disturbing email (which she forwarded to me) that she needed to address immediately. Apparently, someone took the time to proofread her entire website and pointed every flaw in it – all five of them.
Knowing that this website had just been created, as she was broadening her niche, I immediately knew that the woman who wrote the email was way out of line. The work to edit the website had already been scheduled, and it completely took the fun out of creating it.
Think Before You Speak
As I read this email, my mouth dropped. The woman said she had been “in this business” for quite some time and quoted from the website. However, as she began to critique/criticize (fine line), she made mistake after mistake in her message. Within the first sentence, she made four mistakes. Clearly, punctuation, spelling, and grammar are not her strong points.
In the second sentence, she made two errors. I quickly edited her email and Skyped it back to my friend who had already taken her site down to fix the errors. She is a successful VA with enough work to subcontract to two other VAs. Isn’t it a shame when someone who doesn’t even own a website criticizes someone who has taken the time to build one?
I’ve seen errors on many successful VA websites – it happens. I’ve even seen someone criticize someone’s spelling error when they had spelling errors on their own website. Do you see the dot or the background?
As for my friend, she thanked me for my support and is putting together an amazing website that, knowing her, will showcase her extensive knowledge.
When critiquing others, if they’ve asked us to (LOL), we need to show a little professional courtesy and spell/grammar check our own work. Do you see the dot or the background?
So many people see the flaws in others and forget to see the positive; they see the dot and not the background. It’s a bit of a trend to look for the negative, but the rewards are so much greater when you are looking for what others are doing right.
Think Before You Criticize
Last week, I received a message from a VA friend who I subcontract for. She was beside herself, as she had just received a disturbing email (which she forwarded to me) that she needed to address immediately. Apparently, someone took the time to proofread her entire website and pointed every flaw in it – all five of them.
Knowing that this website had just been created, as she was broadening her niche, I immediately knew that the woman who wrote the email was way out of line. The work to edit the website had already been scheduled, and it completely took the fun out of creating it.
Think Before You Speak
As I read this email, my mouth dropped. The woman said she had been “in this business” for quite some time and quoted from the website. However, as she began to critique/criticize (fine line), she made mistake after mistake in her message. Within the first sentence, she made four mistakes. Clearly, punctuation, spelling, and grammar are not her strong points.
In the second sentence, she made two errors. I quickly edited her email and Skyped it back to my friend who had already taken her site down to fix the errors. She is a successful VA with enough work to subcontract to two other VAs. Isn’t it a shame when someone who doesn’t even own a website criticizes someone who has taken the time to build one?
I’ve seen errors on many successful VA websites – it happens. I’ve even seen someone criticize someone’s spelling error when they had spelling errors on their own website. Do you see the dot or the background?
As for my friend, she thanked me for my support and is putting together an amazing website that, knowing her, will showcase her extensive knowledge.
When critiquing others, if they’ve asked us to (LOL), we need to show a little professional courtesy and spell/grammar check our own work. Do you see the dot or the background?
Total Comments 7
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When I redid my site I had 3 people proof it and still missed some things. It happens to all of us.
Maybe this women felt threatened by the success of this VA and decided to knock her down instead of embrace her triumphs. I see the dot most of the time but ignore it for the background. But don't get me wrong I would send a simple email letting her know where I found the error or even errors with a note that I think she rocks and her site will always be a work in progress. |
 
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I think every one of us read and re-read our own site, only to find we can make a little change here and there, or even find an error we missed. It happens. Having a friend read the text of a site for understanding helps very much since I feel we, as the a the author, may assume we are making things perfectly clear. BUT, for a stranger to write a site owner and be ugly about an error or five, shows they are an insecure person who enjoys finding fault and bringing it to a person's attention. Had this person written a "kind" note saying they visited the site and found a few errors they may want to correct, that is constructive and deserves a "thank you." But, when done with malice, just review the errors, correct them and wipe your hands as "done" and forget the crabby person who wrote the email. Their negative energy doesn't deserve one iota of wasted good energy on your part. And, for someone to say they'd been in the business a lonnnnng time but doesn't have a website, that says one thing. They've not been in business that long or are not even in the business but are just a lonely, mean person who loves to criticize.
It's hard enough to exist in a critical world and a world where there is no privacy any longer. Constructive criticism goes so much farther than negative criticism. All negative criticism does is hurt a person and give a small sense of satisfaction to the negative person who made the comment. The world can be mean. Joan |
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I agree 100 percent with Lee.
I see the dot, but I also see the background. And I think it's important to see both. I WANT people, strangers or not, to point out mistakes on my website or blog. And strangers have pointed things out in a nice way, which I very much appreciated. Sometimes no matter how many times or how many different people go over something, mistakes slip through. Be nice in pointing out errors and also find something nice to say as well! |
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Lee, I agree, she may have felt threatened. Proofreading was in the works. What I felt was interesting was the amount of errors in how own email as she critiqued this website.
Joan, yes, I think reading and re-reading our web copy is necessary – even critical. What bothered me more was that she had so many errors, in just a few sentences, as she was criticizing the website. The Perfect Word, this friend of mine had no problem with errors being pointed out and had it taken care of immediately. But, my point was that it wasn’t done in the constructive way that you mentioned. And, to be honest, I think we need to look for the good as well. If she had asked or given it a bit of forethought before her knee-jerk reaction, she would have known that it was scheduled to be proofread. We live in a critical world, like Joan said, and I was shocked at how poorly this was handled. |
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"What bothered me more was that she had so many errors, in just a few sentences, as she was criticizing the website."
That's what is humorous. Those who criticize others generally have the same reasons for being criticized themselves. I hope your friend gets tons of work and makes TONS of money! Joan |
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I've had people email me with errors. They are very nice about it, but I had one who was similar to this and they said something along the lines of, "Your site has many errors." There was more, but the thing about this particular email was this person used no capitals and if I remember correctly only one period somewhere in the middle of the paragraph.
Now, I know my site probably has some missed errors on it. I post about 8 to 10 articles a month and I am in the works of revising my content so I'm sure there are errors. I want to know about them, but some people you just have to ignore. Which is exactly what I did with that email. I promptly deleted it, moved on, and actually had forgotten about it until just now. I just see this kind of stuff as "consider the source". If it's not credible then I don't waste my time on it. |
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Exactly. I agree, and she has moved on. At first, it stung and that's pretty natural. However, she's moving in a positive direction, and her business is doing well.
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Recent Blog Entries by WorkingWithYou
- Do You See the Dot or The Background? (06-27-2013)
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- Developing a Reputation of Virtual Assistant Dependability (09-30-2011)
- The Missing Comma in a Series (08-10-2011)
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