It's Time to Just Say OK, You have not Failed.
Posted 06-25-2009 at 10:03 PM by NikAssist
The clock is ticking and the reality of the situation is setting in. In 1 week, I will no longer have the income to pay my rent or my bills. As much as I want to trust that a new job will come through, or a slew of new client will come and give me the income I need, the truth is that it is most likely not going to happen in this market.
At least in time for me not to fall behind on my rent, which would just sink me into a whole I do not want to try to climb out of.
I want to swallow this big huge pill of pride and go ahead and move back home. I have struggled for 10 years to support myself and my daughter, and it has been a struggle every single year. With no support from her father, no support from my ex-husband, it was always a struggle. I always did what I had to do to stay on my own and now I'm just at the point where if I'm ever really going to have the life I want, I am going to have to take a step back and ease this load that I'm carrying. It's so simple, so clear, move back home for 6 months to a year, get out of debt, go back to school and come out with a way to really build the life I'm struggling right now to maintain.
My goals, my dreams are so attainable, but I have been fighting this battle against them with my refusal to ease this load and move back home. I simply can not afford to live on what I will be making, but the truth is I can live on what I'm making, I just can't live on my own. I will not be able to buy my house as long as I'm struggling to pay rent, I won't be able to go on vacation if I'm never able to save towards it. How can I rebuild my credit if I can't afford to keep the lights on in my home. I'm creating my own problems and ignoring the obvious solution. I can fix all those things by simply swallowing the big old pill of pride that I'm choking on and just move back home and start fresh and actually move towards my dreams in a way that will lead me to success.
I keep hoping someone will say, hey, here's $10,000, go pay your debt, and it will solve everything...but that's not going to happen and I can't afford to play the lottery..LOL!!
I'm not yet ready though, as I said, I'm choking on that stupid pill, working as hard as I can and using this as my last resort option, it's there, it's my security net, it's the thought that keeps me going every day knowing my worth and just hoping a job will come through that will both ease the load and allow me to stay in my own home. 32 years old and back home with my mommy...never in a million years would I have thought I'd do it....
It's time to make some tough choices I suppose...stay tuned
At least in time for me not to fall behind on my rent, which would just sink me into a whole I do not want to try to climb out of.I want to swallow this big huge pill of pride and go ahead and move back home. I have struggled for 10 years to support myself and my daughter, and it has been a struggle every single year. With no support from her father, no support from my ex-husband, it was always a struggle. I always did what I had to do to stay on my own and now I'm just at the point where if I'm ever really going to have the life I want, I am going to have to take a step back and ease this load that I'm carrying. It's so simple, so clear, move back home for 6 months to a year, get out of debt, go back to school and come out with a way to really build the life I'm struggling right now to maintain.
My goals, my dreams are so attainable, but I have been fighting this battle against them with my refusal to ease this load and move back home. I simply can not afford to live on what I will be making, but the truth is I can live on what I'm making, I just can't live on my own. I will not be able to buy my house as long as I'm struggling to pay rent, I won't be able to go on vacation if I'm never able to save towards it. How can I rebuild my credit if I can't afford to keep the lights on in my home. I'm creating my own problems and ignoring the obvious solution. I can fix all those things by simply swallowing the big old pill of pride that I'm choking on and just move back home and start fresh and actually move towards my dreams in a way that will lead me to success.
I keep hoping someone will say, hey, here's $10,000, go pay your debt, and it will solve everything...but that's not going to happen and I can't afford to play the lottery..LOL!!
I'm not yet ready though, as I said, I'm choking on that stupid pill, working as hard as I can and using this as my last resort option, it's there, it's my security net, it's the thought that keeps me going every day knowing my worth and just hoping a job will come through that will both ease the load and allow me to stay in my own home. 32 years old and back home with my mommy...never in a million years would I have thought I'd do it....
It's time to make some tough choices I suppose...stay tuned
Total Comments 4
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I'm not sure what the right answer is here but I did want to offer one thing and that is that the power of your thought, the strength of your belief in yourself and your ability to manifest is so much stronger than you might realize.
And as a side note - maybe, just maybe, moving in with your mom will give you the space to breathe and focus on your VA business that you've been waiting for. That would most certainly be a silver lining. Keep us posted  |
 
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What a powerful writer you are! I know this doesn't fix anything, but I thought you should know that I felt your pain while reading this post.
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I enjoy your writing and want you to know, despite the obvious interim changes going ahead, dreams don't always follow a straight narrow path... in fact they're windy roads, with bumps and hurdles we don't see coming, highs and lows we fall into easily and climb out of with determination. We will all be here to celebrate your success when you reach your goal - regardless of how windy that road is and how long it takes you :-)
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In one way or another, we all can relate to your situation, and there's only one path......"believe in yourself" and just move forward, don't you look back. No matter what it is you have to do to succeed, at least you know you tried.
Good luck and God bless! Karla |
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Recent Blog Entries by NikAssist
- It's Time to Just Say OK, You have not Failed. (06-25-2009)
- NikAssist Update- Baby Steps (06-19-2009)
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- When The Questions Come (06-08-2009)
- My Secret (06-03-2009)
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