Hi Erika,

Great job on your site!

I've noticed some areas for improvement in the written content that you might like to consider:

Home page

Font is not consistent. You have used different fonts in different sections (ie first paragraph, vs list under your juggling men and within the list on the right).

Text under the left juggling man:

There are some typos ('adminstrative is spelt wrong twice).
Here is my suggested wording for that section to make it tighter and remove contradictions with the info on the rest of your site (eg they can't afford an employee, but you offer the service 'creating employee documents')


Services and Prices page

Text under heading 'Keep in contact package':

With a your (typo) database, Erika can keep in contact with your clients all year long (maybe 'round'?). She can send them a newsletter, personalized card (birthday, anniversary, thank you, holiday...), email, and updates (new promotions, services, products, announcements). Please contact Erika for a free consultation (missing '.')


You have the following at the bottom of the page:


***Additional fees may apply for rush requests, large projects


but no *** next to your hourly rate.


About Erika page


I personally don't like the first paragraph on this page and don't feel it adds a lot and may give people confusing messages. It might sound harsh, but I would personally get rid of it altogether. Below is my explanation of why I say that - or at least some things to think about if you decide to keep it:

Erika fully believes in the consultative sales approach. She builds relationships with her clients from the moment she meets them. Are you selling to them or providing a service? Will you be 'meeting' all of them?


She constantly ensures her clients know she is available to them to answer questions or perhaps even just listen This sounds like you're inviting clients just to call whenever they want to chat with someone...what about boundaries?


It is because of this belief (what belief are you talking about here?) that if a competitor tries to under bid Advantage Administrative Solutions, her clients will quickly turn a cheek (???); Erika provides her clients with everything they could possibly need, sometimes even before they need it.That's a really big call.


Erika has a personal relationship with her clients; they know they can come to her with more than just their basic administrative concerns.Sounds like you're also offering counselling services.

Second (left) section:

Erika is a versatile Administrative Assistant skilled in all Microsoft 2007 programs in addition to having over 20 years experience in customer service in various industries. She has a Degree in Business Management and Marketing and isgreat at organizing, multi-tasking and working under pressure.

This might sound stronger by putting your qualifications first, eg:

Erika is a versatile Administrative Assistant with a Degree in Business Management and Marketing. She has over 20 years experience in admin and (if appropriate) customer service in various industries and is great at organizing, multi-tasking and working under pressure.

I would also put that paragraph right up front, under your photo, before you say anything else.

Erika fully believes that if 110 percent customer service and effort is not given then nothing was given. That's a bit cliched...what's 100% customer service and effort anyway? And so what is 110%? And if you're offering 110%, why not 120% or more?

Erika presents what she has created and the client either approves the projet (typo) or decides if changes need to be made. No matter how many alterations need to be implemented (sounds like you provide poor quality work that needs many alterations) Erika does not consider the assignment complete until the client is complete (completely) 110 percent satisfied with their project. Again, issues with the 110%.


I hope this helps - and thanks for letting me practice reviewing your site, because this is a service I want to offer my clients too!

All the best with your business!


Kirsty.

Thank you, Kristy. You should definitely think about offering this to your clients. As much as I read and reread, I still missed those stupid typos. You also made me think of things that make sense. Changes have been made.

__________________
Erika Glem
www.advadminsol.com Let my administrative solutions be to your advantage.

You're very welcome and I'm glad to have helped

I actually have exactly the same problem when I write my own content! You become so involved in it, that you just read what you expect should be there. One trick you might find useful in the future is to read what you've written out aloud.

Cheers,

Kirsty.

I do that, and I still miss it. Sometimes I literally have to read it backwards. I am still making changes, because I found other things that you didn't mention. I think (I hope) I am done for now.

__________________
Erika Glem
www.advadminsol.com Let my administrative solutions be to your advantage.

Great, I look forward to seeing the final product!

If I ever get there! I just found a couple more things. I may never have a finished product!

__________________
Erika Glem
www.advadminsol.com Let my administrative solutions be to your advantage.

Okay, I think I am done and ready for critiquing!

__________________
Erika Glem
www.advadminsol.com Let my administrative solutions be to your advantage.

Fantastic, I love what you've done and the way you've reworded things

Okay, the bad news...your first paragraph on the home page has some typos:

Are you frustrated because the the organizing, filing, invoicing, and creative ideas are continuing to mount because your focus is on what you do best? Is your company busy enough that you have excess work but can not find the justification to hire an in-office employee? Or maybe you already have an office assistant that is too busy to complete special projects or expanding your buisness. Do you want to expand your business, but you just do not have the time to research or market yourself?

One more thing to think about (while you're making the changes above!) is that when I did my degree, we were taught to use a san sarif font (such as Arial) for online text and a sarif font for printed text (eg Times New Roman) - to help readibility.

I'll leave that one completely up to you though! I think I've caused you enough work here for now!

I appreciate it. See reading it ten times still doesn't work!

__________________
Erika Glem
www.advadminsol.com Let my administrative solutions be to your advantage.

Happy to help

Maybe you could just copy and paste what you've written into Word next time to take advantage of the spell-checker...that will show you any obvious typos.

You're doing great though! My poor website is mostly blank at present because I'm still trying to decide exactly what needs to be on there!

Cheers,

Kirsty.