Virtual Assistant Forums | Work from Home

catfive · #1 (**permalink**) 10-12-2009

OK - Here goes...I have been researching and planning my own Virtual business for the last 6 weeks. I decided on a name and have a logo and business cards. I have no background in webpage development so have a friend of my daughters who is going to build my page for me. This is a whole new world! So I have been trying to decide what I want my webpage to look like - I have looked at hundreds of webpages, many of them just from clicking on your links. I am very impressed...and a little intimidated. I applaud all of you for the work you put in and am impressed with the professionalism I see. I want to be like you when I grow up! lol.

SO, would you be kind enough to critique the words that I am thinking will be pretty much the basis for the home page of my site? IS the tone engaging enough? Could you proofread for grammar? Do I sound like someone you would want to learn more about? I am growing thick skin as I write this so will receive all critiques with interest and good spirit! See below:

Virtuality is a leader in providing specialized business support services to business owners and individuals that are looking for solutions to better manage their work load. (looking for a better ending here)

"The emergence of the virtual business professional has caused a paradigm shift in the way work is performed. This movement is strong, it’s still growing, and it’s encompassing every occupation known today." ( FootNote this - Brennar Nooks - Comprehensive Study of the Virtual Professionals Industry) With the rapid growth in technology, remote access capability, and cloud computing, businesses world-wide can experience the value-added services of contracting with a professional whose business goals are to make your life easier!

Your Solution is here! Increase your productivity by outsourcing those administrative and operational tasks that can be handed off, allowing you to use your time in a more productive manner. Virtuality will allow you the time to become more client focused and less task focused. Our services are tailored to meet your individual needs so you can obtain the highest benefit and value from your investment. We have a very customer-friendly philosophy, tailoring each experience to best benefit you, the client.

The Benefits of Hiring Virtuality:

• All the advantages of a contracted company…no
taxes, benefits or other employee expenses.
• No space requirements, no equipment or software
to purchase
• You pay only for time spent on your project
• A business relationship you can count on
• Quality service tailored to your specifications

We take pride in:
v Superior attention to detail, organization,
v Proven experience working independently as a "VA" or Freelancer
v Excellent verbal and written communication skills
v Ability to be highly resourceful
v Proficiency in Microsoft & various other software applications
v Ability to handle time-sensitive projects

What do you think?

Thanks,

Kathy

Action Jackson VA · #2 (**permalink**) 10-12-2009

Originally Posted by catfive

Your Solution is here! Increase your productivity by outsourcing those administrative and operational tasks that can be handed off, allowing you to use your time in a more productive manner. Virtuality will allow you the time to become more client focused and less task focused. Our services are tailored to meet your individual needs so you can obtain the highest benefit and value from your investment. We have a very customer-friendly philosophy, tailoring each experience to best benefit you, the client. Virtuality is a leader in providing specialized business support services to business owners and individuals that are looking for solutions to better manage their work load.

The Benefits of Hiring Virtuality:

• All the advantages of a contracted company…no
taxes, benefits or other employee expenses.
• No space requirements, no equipment or software
to purchase
• You pay only for time spent on your project
• A business relationship you can count on
• Quality service tailored to your specifications

We take pride in:
v Superior attention to detail, organization,
v Proven experience working independently as a "VA" or Freelancer
v Excellent verbal and written communication skills
v Ability to be highly resourceful
v Proficiency in Microsoft & various other software applications
v Ability to handle time-sensitive projects

"The emergence of the virtual business professional has caused a paradigm shift in the way work is performed. This movement is strong, it’s still growing, and it’s encompassing every occupation known today." ( FootNote this - Brennar Nooks - Comprehensive Study of the Virtual Professionals Industry) With the rapid growth in technology, remote access capability, and cloud computing, businesses world-wide can experience the value-added services of contracting with a professional whose business goals are to make your life easier!

Hi Kathy,

I took your paragraphs and switched them around a little. Let me know what you think

lol

catfive · #3 (**permalink**) 10-12-2009

Andrea,

I like it - so i guess what I was doing was kind of explaining my business BEFORE giving the benefit to them, and you are saying pop it right off the bat with the fact that I am able to provide a solution to their needs?

kas

Action Jackson VA · #4 (**permalink**) 10-12-2009

Exactly, give them the call to action first

catfive · #5 (**permalink**) 10-12-2009

So other then that do you find it engaging enough? Writing something like this is completely different then responding to a business letter or writing a bulleted PowerPoint presentation. I used to think I was good - now I am seeing how much I have to learn!