Please review my press release and provide feedback. I am really struggling with this and am looking for some comments on how to make it stand out. Thank you in advance for your time. I have submitted it twice to an online site and both times it was rejected...

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE


Business Administrative Services Goes Virtual

[Location], July 25, 2009 – In today’s economy, businesses are looking for ways to reduce overhead and cut benefit costs. MG Virtual Office Solutions provides real solutions for small and mid-size businesses by offering quality administrative services in order for them to focus on growing their business.

With over nineteen years administrative experience and now leading MG Virtual Office Solutions, Margie Gibson recognized an administrative need in growing businesses and more particularly she understands their need for quality service that is cost competitive.

A fairly new profession but one that has seen exponential growth in the last few years, virtual assistants can handle everything from basic administrative functions to more specialized work. Unlike temporary employees, virtual assistants work on a contractual basis to provide ongoing administrative support.

A virtual assistant is a highly skilled professional and an independent contractor who works remotely from their home office to provide a myriad of business support services virtually. With the use of email, fax, and internet-based technology, a virtual assistant is more than able to offer valuable support to businesses worldwide that can then focus on growing their own business, while outsourcing administrative tasks. With a virtual assistant there is no need to provide office space, equipment and office supply expense, unemployment insurance, worker's compensation, overtime pay, or administration costs.

MG Virtual Office Solutions “strives to partner with its clients in order to utilize the talents and strengths of all available resources so we can achieve together more than we could achieve alone,” states Gibson.

MG Virtual Office Solutions utilizes today’s technologies to provide superior administrative support solutions to small and mid-sized businesses, not-for-profit organizations, faith-based groups and entrepreneurs globally.

For a free consultation to see how MG Virtual Office Solutions can help you improve your business, visit [website] or email [email].
-30-

__________________
Margie Gibson
http://mgvirtualofficesolutions.org

Margie,
It looks good, is well-written and covers the basics about virtual assistance. However, I think what might give you more of an edge is if you re-wrote with a HOOK of some sort. That is, something along the lines of "Virtual Assistant provides small business owners with an edge in today's economny." And then I would go on to talk about with today's economy many small biz owners really need to find ways to keep their competitive edge and to find innovative ways to continue to generate revenue. Part of that overall strategy would include hiring a virtual assistant to help with admin tasks- paying only for the hours they need, saving $$ by not hiring employee, etc., etc. so that they can more effectively use their time to work on higher payoff activities.

You might also then include a short story or case study of how you helped a particular client. If the PR is more like a story and less like an ad, then I think you have a better chance of getting it out there.

__________________
Kimberly
Facebook Marketing Magic!

Thank you Kimberly for your advice. I was thinking that the reason it kept getting rejected is that it read too much like an add. I will rework it with your suggestions. Thanks again. Good to hear from you!

__________________
Margie Gibson
http://mgvirtualofficesolutions.org

Hi Margie, I really like the foundation of what you have here but I do agree with Kim... I'm left wondering where the angle is. Maybe focus on pain points - like the economy - as a place to start brainstorming that 'edge'.

Post back when you've redrafted!

__________________

I agree about the hook, but this is a really good start and well written. I wonder if you could offer to interview a business owner and quote them in the article. It could be an incentive for both of you to get your names out there.

__________________
Lindsay
www.writingthatsizzles.net