Virtual Assistant Forums | Work from Home

VagabondetteVA · #1 (**permalink**) 06-02-2008

Ok, this is my first crack at a press release. I used the tool but I have zero idea of what I'm doing so please feel free to rip it all apart.

Thanks in advance for your feedback!

For Immediate Release
Amanda Moore
AMVA

http://amvirtualassistant.com/blog/

Virtual Assistant Makes it Her Business to Help

Portland, OR - June, 03 2008 – “Giving back is what it's all about.” When she started her Virtual Assistant business Amanda Moore knew that she wanted to use her expertise to help organizations who are working on making a change in the world. She took her first step this week.

In her blog post 106 Organizations That are Changing the World (http://amvirtualassistant.com/blog/2...e-you-helping/) Amanda has gathered a list of organizations that she believes are making a difference in their communities and the world in general and challenged her readers to add to it.

"I knew the list was skewed towards my interests and not remotely comprehensive, " claims Moore. "That's why I wanted to get my readers involved. Through them I've been able to add over 30 additional organizations and the list keeps growing daily." (http://amvirtualassistant.com/blog/2...organizations/)

Both lists quickly became popular via well-known social networking sites like Digg and StumbleUpon and the initial list of 106 was listed in the Daily Five for June 2 on the Reader\'s Digest website.

"Many people want to give back," says Moore, "but they're not sure how to do it. There is so much information out there that it can be hard to find a starting point. I hope my list and the one developed by my readers can help people make that first step. " Moore, a professional Virtual Assistant, has a long history of volunteerism spanning over 25 years and including organizations like Special Olympics, Habitat for Humanity and Domestic Violence Shelters.

In addition to offering pro-bono and reduced rate services to non-profits, in her effort to incorporate giving back into her business model, Moore intends to profile a different non-profit every month on her blog (http://amvirtualassistant.com/blog/) and will be launching a time matching program called “Hours for Change” which will allow individuals to donate her time and services (which she will match 25%) to the charity of their choice.

"Having worked with non-profits for years, " says Moore "I know that when you're small one thing you sorely miss, sometimes even more than money, is skilled labor. With my “Hours for Change” program I hope to allow more organizations the chance to take advantage of my background in administrative and operations planning. I think it's a win-win for everyone involved. "

The “Hours for Change” program is expected to launch at the end of July and organizations wishing to partner with Moore should contact her for more information.

"In these times, when there's so much wrong in the world, it's up to both individuals and businesses to step up and do their part, " says Moore. "I hope that the 106 Organizations list and my “Hours for Change” program will help motivate other individuals and businesses to think about how they can use their knowledge to help make some sort of difference.”

Amanda Moore is a professional Virtual Assistant and owner AMVA. With almost 20 years of experience in Administrative and Operations planning Amanda is skilled at helping small businesses and non-profits leverage technology to develop a strong online presence and improve their operational efficiency. This gives business owners and management more free time to focus on their personal and business priorities. AMVA - Giving you more free time.
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eve_k0802 · #2 (**permalink**) 06-02-2008

Amanda,

Great job! I think for your first press release you did a fabulous job!

Just a few minor things that I notied - first of all, when you mention the Hours for Change program, I think you should say businesses can PURCHASE your time and then donate it to the charity of their choice. To me it sounded like anyone could call up and say - hey, I need you to spend 10 hours at xyz company and think they don't have to pay for it. I would just be a little more clear about the specifics of the program.

I also think you have a few too many quotes. I think I press relase should state the facts from an unbiased point of view, with one quote from the person who it is about, or two at the max. I think you have 8 in there. I think you have too many quotes and too many paragraphs. Try to keep it more matter of fact and once you take out some of the quotes you'll probably be able to condese some paragraphs.

There was one little typo I noticed - Reader's Digest - you had Reader/s Digest.

Just my two cents! Otherwise, great job! I know you'll get some great publicity for this!

Yvone

VagabondetteVA · #3 (**permalink**) 06-02-2008

ok, thanks. I wondered about the quotes. I think that's the past journalist in me peeking back out.

The / was put in there by the auto generation program. There were about 1000 of them!

I'll go another round and post back. Thanks again!

VagabondetteVA · #4 (**permalink**) 06-02-2008

Ok, here's round 2. I developed 2 different drafts, I'm interested to know which you think is better. This is the first one:

Virtual Assistant Makes it Her Business to Help

Portland, OR - June, 03 2008 – Giving back is a key to business success. When she started her Virtual Assistant business Amanda Moore knew that she wanted to use her expertise to help organizations who are working on making a change in the world. She took her first step this week.

In her post 106 Organizations That are Changing the World (http://amvirtualassistant.com/blog/2...e-you-helping/) Moore has gathered a list of organizations that she believes are making a difference in their communities and the world in general and challenged her readers to add to it. Blog readers have suggested over 30 additional organizations and the list keeps growing daily. (http://amvirtualassistant.com/blog/2...organizations/) Both lists quickly became popular via well-known social networking sites like Digg and StumbleUpon and the initial list of 106 was listed in the Daily Five for June 2 on the Reader's Digest website.

"Many people want to give back," says Moore, "but they're not sure how to do it. There is so much information out there that it can be hard to find a starting point. I hope my list and the one developed by my readers can help people make that first step." Moore, a professional Virtual Assistant has a long history of volunteerism spanning over 25 years and including organizations like Special Olympics, Habitat for Humanity and Domestic Violence Shelters.

In addition to offering pro-bono and reduced rate services to non-profits, in her effort to incorporate giving back into her business model, Moore intends to profile a different non-profit every month on her blog (http://amvirtualassistant.com/blog/) and is creating a time matching program called “Hours for Change” which will allow individuals to purchase her time and services (which she will match 25%) and donate them to the charity of their choice. The “Hours for Change” program, which is expected to launch at the end of July, is primarily targeted towards small non-profits which have limited personnel resources to help with administrative and operational planning. Organizations wishing to partner with Moore should contact her for more information.

Moore is one of a growing number of business owners who realize that while it’s important to make money, it’s also important to give something back.

Amanda Moore is a professional Virtual Assistant and owner AMVA. With almost 20 years of experience in Administrative and Operations planning Amanda is skilled at helping small businesses and non-profits leverage technology to develop a strong online presence and improve their operational efficiency. This gives business owners and management more free time to focus on their personal and business priorities. AMVA - Giving you more free time.
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VagabondetteVA · #5 (**permalink**) 06-02-2008

Here is the 2nd one. Only the end changed. Thanks!!!

Portland, OR - June, 03 2008 – Giving back is a key to business success. When she started her Virtual Assistant business Amanda Moore knew that she wanted to use her expertise to help organizations who are working on making a change in the world. She took her first step this week.

In her post 106 Organizations That are Changing the World (http://amvirtualassistant.com/blog/2...e-you-helping/) Moore has gathered a list of organizations that she believes are making a difference in their communities and the world in general and challenged her readers to add to it. Blog readers have suggested over 30 additional organizations and the list keeps growing daily. (http://amvirtualassistant.com/blog/2...organizations/) Both lists quickly became popular via well-known social networking sites like Digg and StumbleUpon and the initial list of 106 was listed in the Daily Five for June 2 on the Reader's Digest website.

"Many people want to give back," says Moore, "but they're not sure how to do it. There is so much information out there that it can be hard to find a starting point. I hope my list and the one developed by my readers can help people make that first step." Moore, a professional Virtual Assistant has a long history of volunteerism spanning over 25 years and including organizations like Special Olympics, Habitat for Humanity and Domestic Violence Shelters.

As a follow-up to the popular 106 Organizations list, Moore intends to profile a different non-profit every month on her blog (http://amvirtualassistant.com/blog/) and is creating a time matching donation program called “Hours for Change” which is expected to launch at the end of July.

Moore is one of a growing number of business owners who realize that while it’s important to make money, it’s also important to give something back.

Amanda Moore is a professional Virtual Assistant and owner AMVA. With almost 20 years of experience in Administrative and Operations planning Amanda is skilled at helping small businesses and non-profits leverage technology to develop a strong online presence and improve their operational efficiency. This gives business owners and management more free time to focus on their personal and business priorities. AMVA - Giving you more free time.

eve_k0802 · #6 (**permalink**) 06-02-2008

Originally Posted by VagabondetteVA

Ok, here's round 2. I developed 2 different drafts, I'm interested to know which you think is better. This is the first one:

Virtual Assistant Makes it Her Business to Help

Portland, OR - June, 03 2008 – Giving back is a key to business success. When she started her Virtual Assistant business Amanda Moore knew that she wanted to use her expertise to help organizations who are working on making a change in the world. She took her first step this week.

In her post 106 Organizations That are Changing the World (http://amvirtualassistant.com/blog/2...e-you-helping/) Moore has gathered a list of organizations that she believes are making a difference in their communities and the world in general and challenged her readers to add to it. Blog readers have suggested over 30 additional organizations and the list keeps growing daily. (http://amvirtualassistant.com/blog/2...organizations/) Both lists quickly became popular via well-known social networking sites like Digg and StumbleUpon and the initial list of 106 was listed in the Daily Five for June 2 on the Reader's Digest website.

"Many people want to give back," says Moore, "but they're not sure how to do it. There is so much information out there that it can be hard to find a starting point. I hope my list and the one developed by my readers can help people make that first step." Moore, a professional Virtual Assistant has a long history of volunteerism spanning over 25 years and including [should be includes] organizations like Special Olympics, Habitat for Humanity and Domestic Violence Shelters.

In addition to offering pro-bono and reduced rate services to non-profits, in her effort to incorporate giving back into her business model, Moore intends to profile a different non-profit every month on her blog (http://amvirtualassistant.com/blog/) and is creating a time matching program called “Hours for Change” which will allow individuals to purchase her time and services (which she will match 25%) and donate them to the charity of their choice. The “Hours for Change” program, which is expected to launch at the end of July, is primarily targeted towards small non-profits which have limited personnel resources to help with administrative and operational planning. Organizations wishing to partner with Moore should contact her for more information.

Moore is one of a growing number of business owners who realize that while it’s important to make money, it’s also important to give something back.

Amanda Moore is a professional Virtual Assistant and owner AMVA. With almost 20 years of experience in Administrative and Operations planning Amanda is skilled at helping small businesses and non-profits leverage technology to develop a strong online presence and improve their operational efficiency. This gives business owners and management more free time to focus on their personal and business priorities. AMVA - Giving you more free time.
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I like version 1 better than 2 because you explain the program more. I caught one other thing that needed to be changed and I marked it in red above. Also, I think when you talk about the Hours for Change program you should say that "individuals and businesses can purchase hours...." and hopefully businesses that want to do something for charity will think about working with you and your program.

Great job! Make sure you check the other thread about all the sites you can submit this to for free, and like I said, definitely contact all your local media outlets. Maybe they will do a story on you on your local news!

Yvone

eve_k0802 · #7 (**permalink**) 06-02-2008

Oh, and one other thing. I'm not sure if you should put quotes around the title of your Blog Post, or if it's underlined like a book title. I don't know what the rule is for that. Maybe one of the other ladies here will know the answer to that question.

Yvone

VagabondetteVA · #8 (**permalink**) 06-02-2008

Thanks so much. I did a bit of research and it seems that it's supposed to be handled like a magazine article which is, I believe, using quotes.

virtual writing · #9 (**permalink**) 06-02-2008

I suggest changing
In her post 106 Organizations That are Changing the World ...
to
In her post, 106 Organizations That are Changing the World, ...

and make the word 'post' a link to the site.

Great job, Amanda!

VagabondetteVA · #10 (**permalink**) 06-02-2008

Thanks Mary. Unfortunately it doesn't look like many sites allow HTML functionality so I'm trying to keep it plain text. Otherwise I agree having hyperlinks is better than just listing the address.