This is what I have now, but don't like. It's too short and doesn't really describe my release. Please advise. Thanks.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact:
Mary Lou Locke
Locke Solutions
Tel.: NO CONTACT INFO ON FORUMS
Cell: NO CONTACT INFO ON FORUMS
Website: www.LockeSolutions.com
Email: NO CONTACT INFO ON FORUMS


Queen Creek, AZ – April 2008 – “Every business experiences a busy season, when there just aren’t enough hours in the day to get it all done. Daily operations seem overwhelming while administration tasks get buried and phone calls remain unreturned” says Mary Lou Locke, owner of Locke Solutions. Although Locke runs her Virtual Assistance business from the comfort of her home office, she often visits with business owners to assess their needs and offer suggestions to maximize productivity and minimize stress and fatigue. The services she provides enable her clients to better focus their efforts to ensure the continual growth of their businesses.

Locke Solutions offers independent contractors and small to mid-size company owner’s peace of mind in assuring that their correspondence (email, faxes, phone calls) are returned, in addition to materials mailed and schedules maintained. Locke’s support particularly benefits resource-challenged start-up companies which may not be able to afford full-time assistants. Services offered include clerical; data entry; event planning; project coordination; research; and marketing support across a range of graphic design, accounting, and other software applications. Although Locke Solutions provides specialized services in the construction industry, Locke’s assistance and expertise are available to all types of businesses.

Locke emphasizes that using her services is “a step in the right direction” when it comes to reducing the carbon footprints of businesses as well. By decreasing car pollution, paper consumption and ink cartridge waste, we are positively impacting the environment.

Locke’s commitment to her clients’ companies is a direct reflection of her business practices. “Not only are my clients’ reputations important for their success, but they’re important for mine as well!”

Locke is offering 3 additional hours of service at no charge with the purchase of a 5-hour pre-paid package with the mention of this article.

For more information or to schedule a consultation, please call Mary Lou Locke at NO CONTACT INFO ON FORUMS or email her at NO CONTACT INFO ON FORUMS. You can also visit her company’s website at www.LockeSolutions.com

__________________
Mary Lou Locke
Lock-in Success with Locke Virtual Assistance
www.LockeSolutions.com:

I really like how you use your name in your advertising...when I saw the title you have now, I thought "Locke in Your Success with a Virtual Assistant" or something along those lines. You could always use your tag line as your title, it's very clever too.

I like what you have, but I would punch up the very beginning just a bit. Your explanation of when a business could use a VA is great, now just tell them that those are the reasons they need a VA and how a VA would help them. You will have grabbed some people's attention and had their heads nodding thinking to themselves "yup, this sounds familiar," ...now you want to clue them in on what can solve their problems.

The description of your business is thorough and good...I also like how you included how VAs are making a positive impact on the environment.

I'm sure others will step in with specific changes...I just ran through it quick while on a break and wanted to share what I found. Great job!!

Thank you Mary. I will work on your suggestions. In the meantime, I came up with the title "'Locke'-in Success with Your Own Virtual Assistant Specializing in the Construction Industry"

What do you think? It's those who's attention I would like to grab.

__________________
Mary Lou Locke
Lock-in Success with Locke Virtual Assistance
www.LockeSolutions.com:

Mary Lou, I think press releases need to sound as much like news as possible. So how about "Construction Industry 'Lockes' in Success with Virtual Assistant." Or something. Make it be about your client, your clients' needs, and make it news.

__________________
Mary H. Ruth/Virtual Writing & Communications
http://www.writingVA.com

Originally Posted by asthemoonclimbs

Mary Lou, I think press releases need to sound as much like news as possible. So how about "Construction Industry 'Lockes' in Success with Virtual Assistant." Or something. Make it be about your client, your clients' needs, and make it news.

I love it! I did get some submissions back because of the title I used. I think by using what you have come up with, I won't have any more problems. Thank you.

__________________
Mary Lou Locke
Lock-in Success with Locke Virtual Assistance
www.LockeSolutions.com:

I actually read it online this morning! Great job. How many sites did you send it to?

__________________
Dawn Riley
A Virtual Assistant in Paradise
Our business is about making yours better

Originally Posted by vainparadise

I actually read it online this morning! Great job. How many sites did you send it to?

Online? How did you get it? It's so exciting! I sent it off to 3 local papers, so far and submitted to what seemed like thousands of online distributors. Actually I think I submitted to 5 or 6 online resources!

__________________
Mary Lou Locke
Lock-in Success with Locke Virtual Assistance
www.LockeSolutions.com:

I have a Virtual Assistant Google alert set up

__________________
Dawn Riley
A Virtual Assistant in Paradise
Our business is about making yours better