I have written my first attempt at a press release and would appreciate a constructive critique on it before I send to my local papers.


VIRTUAL ASSISTANT BUSINESS OPENING IN MAHONING COUNTY



Sebring, OH January 13, 2010

Businesses nationwide are partnering with virtual assistants to help them meet their administrative needs. Now these services will be available to area business owners. With 5 years experience and a Business Management degree, Serita Diana of Executive @ssist, is an asset to the business community.
By partnering with a virtual assistant, such as Executive @ssist, business owners pay only for the hours and services they need. Services are available on a retainer or per project basis. When owners do not have to pay for training, benefits, office equipment, and office space for the new hire, costs are kept down while productivity goes up.
Serita Diana, of Executive @ssist, states, “I want to be a part of helping the local economy to grow. By providing my services to area businesses I assist them by keeping costs down and creating new opportunities for expansion. This is a great way for someone to get the necessary help without having to pay the annual salary of a new employee.”
Some of the services provided by virtual assistants are skills that must be trained, such as transaction management for realtors, database management for the small business, and even marketing. These skills are extremely costly to hire in house staff for, but with a virtual assistant these services just became affordable.
For more detailed information about Executive @ssist, contact serita@executive-assist.net or visit online at: http://www.executive-assist.net
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Thanks for the critique/ feedback.

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Serita Diana, the List 2 Close Assistant
REVA Academy

I think it looks good. Want to make it really great? Get someone to provide a quote for you. Someone you've worked for, or even someone you might work for. Ask them their opinion of the usefulness of a VA, and put that in the release.
But if you want to get it out right away, it's in good shape and ready to go, IMO. Nice work!

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Mary H. Ruth/Virtual Writing & Communications
http://www.writingVA.com

Thanks Mary. I was beginning to get worried my post would be overlooked and buried by new posts, lol. I'll add the quote I got from my last employer to add some juice. Any suggestions where I should add it?

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Serita Diana, the List 2 Close Assistant
REVA Academy

Hi Serita, you have created a great press release! Here is some constructive feedback as per your request.
When writing a press release you need to take the focus off yourself and put it on the advantage the business owner gets when hiring you. Every business owner reading your press release is asking "what's in it for me, how do I benefit"

Following are some suggestions on to how to word some of your sentences in order to show the business owner their advantage.

Costs are kept down and productivity goes up when owners do not have to pay for....

When businesses partner with a Virtual Assistant it allows them to keep their costs down and gives them peace of mind in knowing that a knowledgeable, highly skilled individual is looking after their business needs. This allows business owners to free up their valuable time and focus their energy on doing the things they do best, creating new opportunities, thus increasing their bottom line.

Remove "new" from the sentence and simply state employee.

These services are extremely expensive to hire "in house" staff for however when partnering with a skilled Virtual Assistant these services are affordable.

I hope these suggestions help, if you decide not to use any of them that is fine too as you need to be confident and comfortable with the information you are putting out there.

Good luck and let us know what kind of response you receive from your press release.

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Sharon Clark
Administrative Results

Thanks for the feedback Sharon. I will use your suggestions as I like the flow of the sentences. I have never written a press release, so it was a daunting task. I will be sure to let you know if I receive any responses.

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Serita Diana, the List 2 Close Assistant
REVA Academy

Good luck Serita, I am looking forward to hearing how you make out.

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Sharon Clark
Administrative Results

I just completed updating my press release and submitted it to 3 local papers! Woohoo! Guess this means it's official doesn't it? lol.

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Serita Diana, the List 2 Close Assistant
REVA Academy

Go Serita! Exciting isn't it. I wish you great success.

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Sharon Clark
Administrative Results

I haven't heard anything back yet, but I did send a followup email about how often they print the press releases as I want to get several copies for my portfolio and marketing materials.

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Serita Diana, the List 2 Close Assistant
REVA Academy