Hey all,

Just finished writing up my first draft of my Press release, inspired by reading some of your's. I really would appreciate all your advice, as im not completely happy with it, and really would love some input

Here it is:

Press Release

For Immediate Release

Economic Downturn not a worry for businesses that go virtual.

Caboolture, Queensland – July 10th 2009. As the Economic Downturn begins to effect finances of businesses and individuals there is a need for new cost reducing methods. Worldwide financial savvy businesses large and small are now turning to the services of the Virtual Assistant.

In money tight situations where there isn’t a large flow of work or spare space, it isn’t feasible for a business to hire administration staff. Enter the services of a virtual assistant who can look after those administration and support tasks, while the business needs only to pay for the time required. No need to waste money on equipment, sick leave, leave or other employee benefits.

Launched just last month, iClick Consulting owned by Business Woman Amanda Francis provides word processing, document creation, database management and more for businesses even opening her services to jobseekers with assistance with their resume’s.

With strong experience in business support, advanced knowledge of computers and a dedication like no other to get fantastic results for the success of clients, Amanda’s clients are guaranteed to receive highly professional results.

“Clients are able to enjoy the convenience of a skilled and experienced assistant when they actually need it” states Amanda. Already a booming trend internationally, virtual assistants seem to the new solution for business’s great and small.

If you’re interested using the services of a virtual assistant, visit www.iclickconsulting.com.au today or contact Amanda directly on Amanda@iclickconsulting.com.au .

tell me what you think guys.. good and bad feedback much appreciatted

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Mandee
iClick Consultant

Great start! I loved that you used the downturn in economy thing as a lead-in since that's probably one of the top things on everyone's minds right now. I did notice a couple of things and have a couple of very small suggestions. I don't think I've ever tried to do "mark-up" on here but I'll give it my best shot.

Originally Posted by iclick_fox

Hey all, Just finished writing up my first draft of my Press release, inspired by reading some of your's. I really would appreciate all your advice, as im not completely happy with it, and really would love some input Here it is: Press Release For Immediate Release Economic Downturn not a worry for businesses that go virtual. Caboolture, Queensland – July 10th 2009. As the Economic Downturn begins to effect finances of businesses and individuals there is a need for new cost reducing methods. Worldwide financial savvy businesses (this is probably a nitpicky thing but this phrase "Worldwide financial savvy businesses" seems too much for my mouth and mind to take in all at once. Maybe it would flow a little smoother if you said something like, "Financially savvy businesses of every size" or something like that...jmho , although that doesn't feel quite right either... ) large and small are now turning to the services of the Virtual Assistant. In money tight situations where there isn’t a large flow of work or spare space, it isn’t feasible for a business to hire administration staff. Enter the services of a virtual assistant who can look after those administration and support tasks, while the business needs only to pay for the time required. No need to waste money on equipment, sick leave, leave rather than "leave", I would maybe put "paid time off". It just seems like a stutter sitting so close to "sick leave" to me or other employee benefits. Launched just last month, iClick Consulting (is there a way that you could set your business name off a bit? Maybe bold or italics or something?) owned by Business Woman Amanda Francis provides word processing, document creation, database management and more for businesses even opening her services to jobseekers with assistance with their resume’s. With strong experience in business support, advanced knowledge of computers and a dedication like no other to get fantastic results for the success of clients, Amanda’s clients are guaranteed to receive highly professional results. “Clients are able to enjoy the convenience of a skilled and experienced assistant when they actually need it” states Amanda. Already a booming trend internationally, virtual assistants seem to (be) the new solution for business’s ("businesses" plural not "business's" possessive) great and small. If you’re interested using the services of a virtual assistant, visit www.iclickconsulting.com.au today or contact Amanda directly on (I would use "at" instead of "on") Amanda@iclickconsulting.com.au . tell me what you think guys.. good and bad feedback much appreciatted

Anyhow, just my two cents worth. Take it for what it's worth and hope it helps

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Stephanie
New VA in the research phase :daisy:

Hi Amanda,

Everyone has a style to writing press releases and there are several schools of thought. I would suggest adding something that the reader can do to interact within the release like adding, 'for a free quote to show you how iClick Consulting can save you time and money'... (something like that) or for a 'free e-book of tips and resource' email such and such or click here.

I do not use contractions in releases as a general rule...that's just my style. I think its use is more casual than business but again that is a preference.

And, you might want to include a quote either from a former client or if written in the third person, as your piece is, you can include a quote from yourself. This helps to give more substance to the piece and I also believe a quote helps to personalize the business as well.

I like your release. I like the idea that you added "...opening her services to jobseekers with assistance with their resume’s.." because I think that this could be something you could really target. The release could be about how you helped so and so with their resume and helped them to secure a job.

Good luck!

Janine

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Thanks for your comments, your critique is excellent, has given me some more ideas. I like the idea of mentioning about helping them with their resume towards a job, however i was worried it was starting to get a bit long?

Im definatly going to go through it and add a couple of these revisions thank you

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Mandee
iClick Consultant