Virtual Assistant Forums | Work from Home

Lia-VSS · #1 (**permalink**) 12-11-2007

Hi,

Can you all please look/check through my press release?

------------

FOR RELEASE ONLY ON WEDNESDAY 2 JANUARY 2008

Julia t/a Office Butterfly
*address goes here*
e: *e-mail address goes here*
w: www.officebutterfly.com

Headline:
NEW LOCAL VIRTUAL ASSISTANT PRACTICE OPENS

Summary:
Are you spending most of your working day doing the boring Administration jobs that you simply don’t have the time to do? Don’t despair – Office Butterfly is here to help! Office Butterfly is a Virtual Assistant practice based in Tonbridge, Kent. A Virtual Assistant is a self-employed, freelance worker who takes on numerous administration tasks for busy, working professionals, whether you are the manager of a small or medium-sized business or a sole trader. Office Butterfly is available whether you need assistance for a required amount of hours per month or for a one-off project at a very competitive price.

Credentials:
The company was drawn-up by Julia, who has had 5 years working in this field, having previously worked at the NHS and a Country Club; and now feels that she can transfer the skills that she has gained over the years into setting-up and developing her own Virtual Assistant business.

Julia is one in about 8000 people around the world who offers such a business. “Hiring a Virtual Assistant can be very advantageous to your business”, quotes Julia. “Not only will hiring a Virtual Assistant reduce your business costs, a Virtual Assistant will also enable you to concentrate on more important business matters, as well as giving professionals their personal time back”.
So what services will Office Butterfly be offering? “Office Butterfly will be offering basic Administration tasks”, says Julia. “Our services include Word Processing, Spreadsheets, PowerPoint Presentations as well as Database Creation and Maintenance and Basic Graphic Design Services such as e-newsletter creation and brochure design”.
Even though she realises that she is not the only person in her area to offer the business, she feels that she is embracing all aspects of modern technology to advertise her business. “Office Butterfly uses a lot of IT - for example, our website has been online since November (2 months before the launch of the business) to create a ‘web presence’; however we also have a very active blog online, which is accessible via our website; and we are also very active on Virtual Assistant Forums as well as Social Networking Site Orkut”, says Julia. She also adds “I feel that the services that I shall be offering are at a very fair price – I have really looked at the market; and I feel that the rates that I am offering are very competitive for a professional service of which we will provide to you.”
It is also worth pointing out that there are a couple of Unique Selling Points that Office Butterfly will be able to provide to your business. The first is that Office Butterfly produces very professional E-Newsletters, which is then forwarded to the client’s e-mail address for distribution. “After looking at the market, I realised that there aren’t really any businesses that provides this service. Sending out E-Newsletters really does keep the costs low to any business - the client won’t have to keep forking out money on products such as envelopes, printing supplies, etc. We can also use the same base when sending out direct e-mails. Sending direct mail this way also keeps the costs down, however it is a much more efficient way of communication than sending your direct mail in the post”, she quotes. She also adds “Another unique selling point is that Office Butterfly thrives to look after the environment. Nearly all of our documentation is sent and received online, we save all the necessary documentation required for each client on CD-ROM, and we also very rarely send things through the post. If clients do require documents to printed and sent through the post, this can be done; however, we will charge a minimal fee to your bill”.

The Close:
For more information on the services that Office Butterfly provides, you are very welcome to E-mail Office Butterfly on *e-mail address here* or by visiting their website, www.officebutterfly.com
-30-

cheers!

Maria · #2 (**permalink**) 12-17-2007

Hello Everyone,

Can you please look at my press release and let me know what you think.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact: Maria Massa
Telephone:
Email:
url: www.getquicklink.com

Quicklink your virtual assisstance for today's global office.

Toronto, Ontario January, 2008 –
To put it simply a virtual assistant is an individual who works from their own office providing professional support service and skills to their clients via phone, fax and internet based tecchnology.

“What are the benefits of of a VA you ask?” VA’s provide flexibility, some work outside of normal business hours. No need to provide office space, hardware and supplies as a VA uses her own resources. In hiring a virtual assistant, a small business owner is able to redirect their focus to revenue increasing activities, instead of drowning in paperwork. And by hiring a VA, businesses eliminate costs associated with hiring a full time employee like benefits and paid downtime.

Maria Massa founder of Quicklink – Virtual Assistant Services is joining this growing field. Maria has 8 years customer service experience. Maria’s scope of experience runs from the Beauty Industry to Property and Automobile Insurance. She successfully completed and has obtained her Administrative Assistant Certificate with Stratford Career Institute.

Let Quicklink - Virtual Assistants Services help you with all those tasks that you don't have time for, so you can focus on growing your business. We can help you with all your data entry services, administrative support, general correspondence, email management, appointment scheduling, reminder services, research services and general property and property insurance services.

####

Tess · #3 (**permalink**) 12-17-2007

Hi Maria, my suggested edits are below in orange

Suggested deletes are in red and/or [red brackets]

I do think it's really fabulous that you're ready to send out your first release but I'd strongly suggest spending a little more time on fine-tuning the message here. Are you announcing the launch of your practice? If so, consider putting a little more energy and enthusiasm behind the content here - imagine the different ways you can inspire your readers to want to learn more about you and your practice...what sets you apart from the other VAs who are launching their businesses this week?

Originally Posted by Maria

Hello Everyone,

To put it simply(comma) a virtual assistant, or VA, is an individual who works from their own office providing professional support services [and skills] to [their] clients via phone, fax and internet based tecchnology.

“What are the benefits of of a VA you ask?” VA’s provide flexibility, some work outside of normal business hours.(this sentence does not read correctly - what are you trying to say here?) There is no need to provide office space, hardware and supplies as a VA uses her own resources. In hiring a virtual assistant, a small business owner is able to redirect their focus to revenue increasing activities, instead of drowning in paperwork. And by hiring a VA, businesses eliminate costs associated with hiring a full time employee like benefits and paid downtime.

Maria Massa founder of Quicklink – Virtual Assistant Services is joining (is joining or has joined?) this growing field. Maria has (brings?) 8 years of customer service experience in industries ranging from Beauty to Property and Automobile Insurance. She successfully completed (completed what?) and has obtained her Administrative Assistant Certificate with Stratford Career Institute.

Let Quicklink - Virtual Assistants Services help you with all the tasks that you don't have time for, so you can focus on growing your business. We can help you with all your data entry needs services, provide general administrative support, correspondence, email management, appointment scheduling, reminder services, research services and general property and property insurance services.

####

Lia-VSS · #4 (**permalink**) 12-18-2007

hi, can somene please check this for me, I am hoping to submit it to a press release site this week

thanks

Tess · #5 (**permalink**) 12-18-2007

Hi Julia - this is going to be a quick one today, hopefully another pair of eyes can jump in and note anything I may have missed.

I'm in red and orange (red for deletes, orange for edits/additions)
I'd suggest adding in your last name a few places here - providing your last name will provide more of a professional feel.

Originally Posted by OfficeButterfly

Hi,

Summary:
Are you spending most of your working day doing the boring administration jobs that you simply don’t have the time to do? Don’t despair – Office Butterfly is here to help! Office Butterfly is a Virtual Assistant practice based in Tonbridge, Kent. A Virtual Assistant is a self-employed, freelance worker who takes on numerous administration tasks for busy, working professionals, whether you are the manager of a small or medium-sized business or a sole trader. Office Butterfly is available whether you need assistance for a required amount of hours per month or for a one-off project at a very competitive price. (This is a press release, not an ad...I'd suggest not mentioning rates here)

Credentials: (This is also not a resumee...not sure why this heading would be there?)
The company was drawn-up by Julia last name, who has had 5 years working in this field, having previously worked at the NHS and a Country Club; and now feels that she can transfer the skills that she has gained over the years into setting-up and developing her own Virtual Assistant business. (I would consider rewriting this paragraph, take out all of the bits that make it sound like a resumee)

Julia is one in of about 8000 people around the world who offers such a service business. “Hiring a Virtual Assistant can be very advantageous to your small business”, quotes Julia. “Not only will hiring a Virtual Assistant reduce your business costs, a Virtual Assistant will also enable a business owner you to concentrate on more important business matters, as well as giving professionals their personal time back”. (reword this last part as a sep. sentence or delete - it's not advisable to directly address the audience in a press release - this is meant to be an informational piece for the media - not an advertisement. Also, consider that you are speaking in two different voices in this paragraph - keep it to one for continuity.)
[space between paragraphs]
So what services will Office Butterfly be offering? “Office Butterfly will be offering basic Administration tasks”, says Julia. “Our services include Word Processing, Spreadsheets, PowerPoint Presentations as well as Database Creation and Maintenance and Basic Graphic Design Services such as e-newsletter creation and brochure design”. (why are each of these capitalized?)
[space between paragraphs]
Even though she realises that she is not the only person in her area to offer the business, she feels that she is embracing all aspects of modern technology to advertise her business. “Office Butterfly uses a lot of IT - for example, our website has been online since November (2 months before the launch of the business) to create a ‘web presence’; however we also have a very active blog online, which is accessible via our website; and we are also very active on Virtual Assistant Forums as well as Social Networking Site Orkut”, says Julia. She also adds “I feel that the services that I shall be offering are at a very fair price – I have really looked at the market; and I feel that the rates that I am offering are very competitive for a professional service of which we will provide to you.”
(again, no addressing the audience directly in a press release, also, consider the numerous use of the term 'she' here - you want to rewrite this so it has a more professional appeal. I do love that you mention the forums here but I'm not sure that these things are important to your press release content. Orkut is a social networking site, and while it may be beneficial to your marketing, this kind of information would be best kept in the 'About Office Butterfly' section at the end of your release)
It is also worth pointing out that there are a couple of Unique Selling Points that Office Butterfly will be able to provide to your business. The first is that Office Butterfly produces very professional E-Newsletters, which is then forwarded to the client’s e-mail address for distribution. “After looking at the market, I realised that there aren’t really any businesses that provides this service. Sending out E-Newsletters really does keep the costs low to any business - the client won’t have to keep forking out money on products such as envelopes, printing supplies, etc. We can also use the same base when sending out direct e-mails. Sending direct mail this way also keeps the costs down, however it is a much more efficient way of communication than sending your direct mail in the post”, she quotes. She also adds “Another unique selling point is that Office Butterfly thrives to look after the environment. Nearly all of our documentation is sent and received online, we save all the necessary documentation required for each client on CD-ROM, and we also very rarely send things through the post. If clients do require documents to printed and sent through the post, this can be done; however, we will charge a minimal fee to your bill”.
(again, this is all conversational and as a result becomes exceptionally wordy and long - not written in the tone of a press release, which I know is your goal...I'd suggest reading previous releases here or on our news page to get an idea of how a truly professional release reads. It's a good first try though!

)

The Close:
For more information on the services that Office Butterfly provides, you are very welcome to E-mail Office Butterfly on *e-mail address here* or by visiting their website, www.officebutterfly.com
-30-

cheers!

Lia-VSS · #6 (**permalink**) 12-18-2007

thanks for the read-through Tess - I shall make the changes to the original

Lia-VSS · #7 (**permalink**) 12-19-2007

hi.

I have rejigged the press release (even though I'm feeling poorly today!). I have taken out a large proportion of the text to make it more 'snappy'. Here is the version. I hope I have done it right.

FOR RELEASE ONLY ON WEDNESDAY 2 JANUARY 2008

Julia Neal
t/a Office Butterfly
*trading address here*
e: *e-mail address here*
w: www.officebutterfly.com

NEW VIRTUAL ASSISTANT PRACTICE OPENS

Are you spending most of your working day doing the boring administration jobs that you simply don’t have the time to do? Don’t despair – Office Butterfly is here to help! Office Butterfly is a Virtual Assistant practice based in Kent. A Virtual Assistant is a self-employed, freelance worker who takes on numerous administration tasks for busy, working professionals, whether you are the manager of a small or medium-sized business or a sole trader. Office Butterfly is available whether you need assistance for a required amount of hours per month or for a one-off project.

The company was drawn-up by Julia Neal, who has had 5 years working in this field. Julia is one of about 8000 people around the world who offers such a business. “Hiring a Virtual Assistant can be very advantageous to your small business”, quotes Julia. “Not only will hiring a Virtual Assistant reduce business costs, a Virtual Assistant will also enable the business owner to concentrate on more important business matters”.
Office Butterfly will be offering basic office tasks as well as database creation and maintenance and basic graphic design services such as e-newsletter creation and brochure decide.

For more information on the services that Office Butterfly provides, you are very welcome to E-mail Office Butterfly on *e-mail address here* or by visiting their website, *web address here*
###

Tess · #8 (**permalink**) 12-19-2007

Hi Julia

Sorry for such a tardy reply - things are getting so busy with the holidays!

I think where you wrote "brochure decide" you must have meant 'design'? but otherwise, it reads much much smoother. Good job!

When are you going to be distributing?