Hey Guys,

Heres my first press release! Tell me what you think. No title yet, but i have a few in mind. A coulpe of words like skilled...efficient....couldnt come up with a better word. Is it too long? All suggestions welcomed!

February 22, 2012-
The convenience of having skilled help at a cost efficient price isn’t as hard to obtain as you think! Businesses have the ability to save up to 60,000 or more a year by contracting with a Virtual Assistant!
With Virtual Jane Business Services LLC we can increase your company profit by providing cost efficient services and valuable solutions for your administrative needs.We work from our own office minimizing a regular 8 hour day into 3 to 4 hours. Fax, email, or mail (occasional onsite work as needed) work to our office and we will complete your tasks in a timely manner.
Virtual Jane Business Services LLC specializes in Business Support and Community Relations. Contract with our office for business solutions such as:

• Document Preparation and Database Management
• Scheduling and Customer Relations
• Increasing web presence and Creation of Marketing Materials
• And Clerical tasks and light bookkeeping with QuickBooks

Virtual Jane can be contracted hourly, by retainer, or on a by project basis. Not being able to afford a fulltime assistant shouldn’t prevent you from finding quality assistance. For more information please visit www.virtual-jane.com
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Virtual Jane Business Services LLC was founded in 2009 specializing in Business Support and Community Relations. The owner and operator Alisa Beatty has over 9 years experience in the corporate world. She holds a BS degree in Mass Media Production, a minor in Distribution Technology: Merchandising, and holds a certification in both Business and Technical Writing and Internet Marketing.

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Alisa A. Beatty ~Assistance You Can Count On~ www.virtual-jane.com

Hi Alisa Congratulations on getting ready to send out your first press release!
I hate to break it to you, but this reads like an advertisement, not a release. I'd recommend revisiting your angle, and rewriting so that it is framed more as a news story pitch and less like a description of your services.

Check out a few of these articles for pointers and more direction:

Writing Press Releases That Don’t Sound Like Advertisements

How to Write a Press Release

And one of my personal favorite destinations to send people to for information and resources on writing great releases is the Learning Center at PR Web. In particular, download their free whitepaper 'Press Release Writing Fundamentals'

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Thanks! As i was cleaning up around the house that thought came to me as well. That was my second draft. The first one was wordy and long but read more like a press release than an ad. Ill take a look at that article and maybe come up with a better one.

__________________
Alisa A. Beatty ~Assistance You Can Count On~ www.virtual-jane.com

Here is my first draft.... it just sounds boring to me. You are a great proof reader! Please help! I think its too long, maybe i need to take out the quote or one of the other paragraphs.


Raleigh (NC) - Virtual Jane Business Services LLC saves small business owners time and money by providing cost effective solutions for their administrative tasks. Small business owners are only required to pay for the work and the time it takes to be completed. No overhead costs, taxes, or benefits to be paid.

Companies lose up to 60,000 dollars a year on business expenses when hiring less than quality employees. Vacation pay, Sick pay, and fringe benefits decrease company income. Business owners are reporting problems with employees surfing the web, taking multiple smoke breaks, and over socialization with other coworkers.

“Working with a virtual assistant has saved me from a lot of headaches. I don’t need a full time assistant, but I know hiring a regular employee on my budget and in this economy would put me out of business.”- Sheneka Revis Owner: Full of Dreams Learning Center


With Virtual Jane Business Services LLC we can increase your company profit by providing cost efficient services and valuable solutions for your administrative needs.We work from our own office minimizing a regular 8 hour day into 3 to 4 hours. Fax, email, or mail (occasional onsite work as needed) work to our office and we will complete your tasks in a timely manner.

Virtual Jane Business Services LLC specializes in Business Support and Community Relations. Virtual Jane can be contracted hourly, by retainer, or on a by project basis. Not being able to afford a fulltime assistant shouldn’t prevent you from finding quality assistance. For more information please visit www.virtual-jane.com


Virtual Jane Business Services LLC was founded in 2009 specializing in Business Support and Community Relations. The owner and operator Alisa Beatty has over 9 years experience in the corporate world. She holds a BS degree in Mass Media Production, a minor in Distribution Technology: Merchandising, and holds a certification in both Business and Technical Writing and Internet Marketing.

For more information please contact Alisa Beatty at (919)741-8014 or visit www.virtual-jane.com

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__________________
Alisa A. Beatty ~Assistance You Can Count On~ www.virtual-jane.com

Hi Virtual Jane,

Press releases should be in third person. The press release sites are looking for news -- and only the news. Keep the body around 300 words. Some great things to write about for a press release are certifications you've achieved for your business, community events you taken part in, awards you might have recently received, etc.

Take a look at some of the press release sites on the Web and read their guidelines. They are a big help.