This is my second shot at a press release. This first one was too 'salesy' so I would be happy to have some feedback on my second attempt. This is the first draft and I hope that your feedback the finished product great.


For Immediate Release

Carlana Charles
Ciboney Virtual Solutions
Tel:
Fax:
Email:
www.ciboneyvirtual.com

Time and money saving solution for small businesses!

St. George's, Grenada - February, 23 2008 - Many soloprofessionals and small businesses excel at the services they provide but are not equipped with the skills, tools, time and resources to serve their clients well and still develop their business and acheive new professional goals. They also have a hard time striking a balance between working in their business and working on their business. Many times, that lack of balance can result stress and fustration to the small business owner and professional and may prevent them from fully realizing their objectives.

A Virtual Assistant (or VA) is an independent contractor specializing in the provision of administrative and business support and solution services. Virtual Assistants support their clients in a continuous, collaborative and professional relationship. They work from remote locations, utilizing current technology such as email, online communication, telephone and fax, emerging technology in the field of communication, as well traditional methods such as snail-mail and courier. By partnering with a Virtal Assistant small businesses and solprofessionals are able to focus on the core aspects of the business and acheive new goals.

Ciboney Virtual Solutions is a Virtual Assistance practice that provides administration, customer support, management and marketing services and solutions for soloprofessionals and small businesses desirous of relinquishing some of the hats they wear so that they can focus on what they do best. A partnership with a Virtual Asssitant is ideal for many small businessses and individual professionals, as they pay only for the time spent on services provided by the Virtual Assistant and can partner with a professional who is sincerely interested in seeing their business succeed.

Carlana Charles is a Customer Service Consultant and the Principal of Ciboney Virtual Solutions, a Virtual Assistant Practice that specializes in Customer Service Consulting and Support, Marketing, Office Management and Administration. Armed with over 11 years experience in various administrative support, customer service, sales, marketing and managerial capacities under her belt, Carlana Charles is the business owner of Ciboney Virtual Solutions, a company she prides as being client-focused and solutions-driven. To learn more, visit her at http://www.ciboneyvirtual.com

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Carlana Charles - Ciboney Virtual Solutions
Web: http://ciboneyvirtual.com Blog:http://ciboneyvirtual.com/blog

Carlana, it looks and reads great! I noticed a few, minor things...noted below:
When you're ready to distribute, be sure to add it to the Press Releases section!

St. George's, Grenada - February, 23 2008 - Many soloprofessionals and small businesses excel at the services they provide but are not equipped with the skills, tools, time and resources to serve their clients well and still develop their business and acheive ( i before e ) new professional goals. They also have a hard time striking a balance between working in their business and working on their business. Many times, that lack of balance can result in stress and fustration to the small business owner and professional and may prevent them from fully realizing their objectives.

A Virtual Assistant (or VA) is an independent contractor specializing in the provision of administrative and business support and solution services. Virtual Assistants support their clients in a continuous, collaborative and professional relationship. (I love this sentence! Well said.) They work from remote locations, utilizing current technology such as email, online communication, telephone and fax, emerging technology in the field of communication, as well as traditional methods such as snail-mail and courier. By partnering with a Virtal Assistant small businesses and solprofessionals are able to focus on the core aspects of the (their?) business and acheive new goals.

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I was checking for feeback in the press release section, not noticing I posted it here!Thanks for the feedback Tess. It is always good to have an extra pair of eyes. I didn't pick up those errors!

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Carlana Charles - Ciboney Virtual Solutions
Web: http://ciboneyvirtual.com Blog:http://ciboneyvirtual.com/blog

Actually, I moved it the PR section is for ready releases and since this section is protected from search engines it's a good place to work out the kinks before publishing the final draft.

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Ahhh. Always one step ahead. Thanks Tess.

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Carlana Charles - Ciboney Virtual Solutions
Web: http://ciboneyvirtual.com Blog:http://ciboneyvirtual.com/blog

Carlana,

I think your press release is great and you have some excellent sentences that convey your message. Good job!

A couple of more points:

For Immediate Release

Carlana Charles
Ciboney Virtual Solutions
Tel:
Fax:
Email:
www.ciboneyvirtual.com

Time and money-saving (added hyphen) solution for small businesses!

St. George's, Grenada - February, 23 2008 (February 23, 2008) - Many soloprofessionals ('solo professionals' should be 2 words, but you could always use 'solopreneurs' which is a popular term these days) and small businesses excel at the services they provide but are not equipped with the skills, tools, time and resources to serve their clients well and still develop their business and achieve new professional goals. They also have a hard time striking a balance between working in their business and working on their business. Many times, that lack of balance can result in stress and fustration (frustration) to the small business owner and professional and may prevent them from fully realizing their objectives.

A Virtual Assistant (or VA) is an independent contractor specializing in the provision of administrative and business support and solution services. Virtual Assistants support their clients in a continuous, collaborative and professional relationship. They work from remote locations, utilizing current technology such as email, online communication, telephone and fax, emerging technology in the field of communication, as well as traditional methods such as snail-mail (snail mail) and courier. By partnering with a Virtal (Virtual) Assistant,(added comma) small businesses and solprofessionals (solo professionals) are able to focus on the core aspects of the business and achieve new goals.

Ciboney Virtual Solutions is a Virtual Assistance practice that provides administration, customer support, management and marketing services and solutions for soloprofessionals (solo professionals) and small businesses desirous of relinquishing some of the hats they wear so that they can focus on what they do best. A partnership with a Virtual Asssitant (Assistant) is ideal for many small businessses (businesses) and individual professionals, as they pay only for the time spent on services provided by the Virtual Assistant and can partner with a professional who is sincerely interested in seeing their business succeed.

Carlana Charles is a Customer Service Consultant and the Principal of Ciboney Virtual Solutions, a Virtual Assistant Practice that specializes in Customer Service Consulting and Support, Marketing, Office Management and Administration. Armed with over 11 years experience in various administrative support, customer service, sales, marketing and managerial capacities under her belt, Carlana Charles is the business owner of Ciboney Virtual Solutions, a company she prides as being client-focused and solutions-driven. To learn more, visit her at http://www.ciboneyvirtual.com

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Carlana
Ciboney Virtual Solutions - Client focused, Solutions driven.
www.ciboneyvirtual.com

Hope that helps!

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Kate V. Kerans
Kerans Virtual Assistance

Very nice Carlana! You've already received some great suggestions, but something I noticed while reading it aloud was that the last paragraph sounded a bit redundant. I kinda stumble through it...but it could have been just me

Carlana Charles is a Customer Service Consultant and the Principal of Ciboney Virtual Solutions, a Virtual Assistant Practice that specializes in Customer Service Consulting and Support, Marketing, Office Management and Administration. Armed with over 11 years experience in various administrative support, customer service, sales, marketing and managerial capacities under her belt, Carlana Charles is the business owner of Ciboney Virtual Solutions, a company she prides as being client-focused and solutions-driven. To learn more, visit her at http://www.ciboneyvirtual.com

Also, it may be a good idea to say something about Virtual Assistance in your headline, it may stand out from others.

Good job!

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Perfecting Assistance Services
www.perfectingassistance.com
Allowing you time to PERFECT your Business!

Thanks for the points Kate and Delady.
Delady, I ran it by my hubby and he also said the last part was redundant. This is not my strong point so I'm appreciative of all the input.

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Carlana Charles - Ciboney Virtual Solutions
Web: http://ciboneyvirtual.com Blog:http://ciboneyvirtual.com/blog