My 3-year-old pitches the most awful tantrums (and has been doing so since he was an infant.) I think it's only fair that I take my turn and scream now, too.

It's pretty clear I'm not going to get a THING done today.

Oh AnnaLisa! I'm sorry I missed your note - you must have been having a seriously tough day. Did it get any better?

I haven't had much experience with tantrums - Nou is just now starting to express her opinions more 'vivaciously', shall we say? I try to tell her that I hear her frustration and care how she feels but that I cannot understand her when she's shouting/screaming/tossing about on the floor etc. and to use her words to talk to me about what she wants.

It works sometimes, she gets really quiet and in the sweetest voice I've ever heard she'll ask for whatever it is, usually 'Help, mama...'

But the times I can't get her to stop I just sort of wait it out. What else can you do?

Sounds like you have plenty of experience with tantrums... how do YOU get through them?

Hi again,

Oh, it always gets better. It's just a matter of time...in this case, nearly two days. Not the usual (thank goodness!), but not unheard of for the little mister, either.

What do I do? Hmmm, there's a lot I've tried. Minor fits, it seems best to just ignore. Don't acknowledge and they fizzle. When he's really on a tear, though, there's no talking to him. He drowns out all other voices with his screaming--there's no reasoning like you said. The best luck I've had is with total removal from the rest of us. (Fine since EVERYONE needs the "time-out" by then: It deprives him of having anyone to perform for, his brother is prevented from watching and picking up bad habits, and since I'm very sensitive to loud noise, it lets my blood pressure get back down to normal.) I literally carry him to his room and shut the door until he's done screaming, slapping, shoving, biting, kicking walls, turning over furniture, throwing objects, etc. He doesn't come out again until he can speak nicely, turn off the violence, and tell me exactly why he was removed. Sometimes I only have to check on him once before that happens; other days I'm back multiple times. The day I posted this (Day 2 of this particular episode), he had to be removed several times, the longest nearly three solid hours.

On the bright side, there have actually been--rare but real!--a couple times now that he starts in and one of us will ask, "Do you need to go to your room?" And he rethinks having the fit at all. Baby steps, yes, but progress nonetheless.

Sounds like he's really testing how much of the world he can rule Not fun or funny when it's happening I'm sure.

I can imagine that preventing the younger one from picking up the same habits is a priority!