Virtual Assistant Forums | Work from Home

tildavirtual · #1 (**permalink**) 05-10-2008

As a Virtual Assistant it's highly likely we work from home and that we have children. As professional business owners, my question to everyone is, how much information about our lives is too much?

Example:
Client A is a total hoot. We chat AND talk business. I have no problems calling her and asking for her opinion on XYZ because she'll often do the same. We both happen to have daughters named Matilda. One time Tilly grabbed the phone and started chatting to my client. So I let her. Took the phone back and my client (while laughing) asks 'who was that?'. I told her that it was Tilly so she berates me for taking away the phone and tells me to put her back on. So I did.

We have weekly video chats via Skype with Tilly on my lap waving to my client (my client waves back). With any other client, there is no way this scenario would happen. But with A, it's ok. She inquires about my family and I inquire about hers. With other clients, if I have something I need to do for my kids I usually tell them that I have another appointment at that time. Privacy is very important to me but sometimes I have an extra special connection with particular clients and I'll let them into part of my personal life.

So my question this week is, how much personal information is too much personal information? Do you think it lessens your professionalism in the eyes of your client or do you feel it strengthens your connection with them?

Tess · #2 (**permalink**) 05-10-2008

Hi Kylie,
I too have clients like this - there are regular inquiries back and forth about personal life, etc. It's almost a friendship...but I am pretty shy so I guess I draw a natural line at a certain point.

There was one situation that was really hard for me personally and I turned to one of my clients (almost in desperation, really) for advice, knowing she'd experienced something similar. She was great and provided a lot of insight and support that I needed at the time...That's not something I would even attempt with any of my other clients, even the ones I'm friendly with. I guess this one takes on a 'mother figure' role with me to a certain degree

I did feel a bit of regret later for having shared these particular details just because it made me realize I'd truly exposed myself in a different way, totally off the board in terms of professionalism...and I wondered as a new business owner if I had made a mistake. It never did have a negative impact on the relationship and she's still with us and as fabulous and fun as ever.

With all that said, I think the clients themselves do a lot to define how close the relationship will actually be, and I try to follow their lead more than anything. Taking my cues from their approach to me. If a client is open and sharing, I will be too (to the degree that my shyness and craving for privacy will allow).

How fun that you and your client share such a special realtionship! I think it's really neat and it clearly works well for both of you

Gems Virtual Office · #3 (**permalink**) 05-10-2008

I think its just fine to be "friends" with your clients. I would think it strengths the relationship. Of course it wouldn't be that way with every client. You obviously feel a friendship with client A and there is nothing wrong with that. All friends start out as strangers either in your personal or business life, and become friends because we feel a different connection with them over others.

I'm a very private person, and share very little about my personal life with anyone. But there are a few that I trust and go to for advice. I don't have clients yet, but I wouldn't have any problem being friends with a client if I felt that connection that friends feel.

Did that make any sense?

MaryH · #4 (**permalink**) 05-10-2008

In the last "corporate world" job I held, I worked with adult students at a local university and got to know a few on a more personal level. We would discuss how our kids were doing, fun things we were up to...a few even knew about me starting up a business just before I left because I felt comfortable sharing it with them, especially one who was in the process of setting up her own business. I would go above and beyond for any of them if they needed something and many expressed sadness when I announced I was leaving. A few even told me that I was the only person in the whole office they felt comfortable coming to if they needed help because they knew I would find answers to whatever questions they had, even if it wasn't something I normally did - what a compliment! I had no problems getting to know people on a more personal level then and will have no problems doing so with clients either if we both feel comfortable doing so. There will always be people that you just "click" with and I think that the relationship you build with some clients will benefit you both in the long run. It allows for a much more respectful, open and honest relationship because you are both comfortable with each other. I personally am looking forward to finding clients just like these!!

lisa007 · #5 (**permalink**) 05-10-2008

I think you have to take it on a case by case bases and get to know the client. Like Mary said some people you just click with and others you don't. Some you want to be friends with and others you don't. It's one of those hard to determine things until you're down the road a bit. Just my 2 cents

Blessings,

tildavirtual · #6 (**permalink**) 05-13-2008

You definitely have to take it on a case by case basis. My tagline is 'making virtual personal' and so I try to convey a little of myself and make my clients comfortable working with someone virtually. Anymore than that is stepping over that invisible line I have for myself. Client A is a just a fluke. A lovely fluke.

vainparadise · #7 (**permalink**) 05-13-2008

With the clients that I have now we have a great business and personal relationship. I agree though that it has to be on a case by case basis.

VagabondetteVA · #8 (**permalink**) 05-13-2008

I agree with the others, it really depends on the client. In my last project in the corporate world, both the client and consulting team had 4 people each and it just kind of happened that we each bonded with someone different from the other team. My connection was on a bit of a different level though because I kept running into my client contact out at random bars and in airports across the country.

It was truly bizarre. lol

The first time it happened was a Friday night and when we had our Monday meeting the next week, the client (on the way into the meeting) asked me how the rest of my weekend had gone and reminisced about the shooters (he insisted) we'd done on Friday night at the bar. I'd not had a chance to fill my boss in so he was just a *bit* surprised. lol

Another time we ran into each other at the airport in a city across the country, about to take a red-eye home to make our Monday meeting. We ended up being assigned seats next to each other on the flight. On the way into the meeting later (with my boss again) he teased me about morning hair and snoring. Again, the boss was a bit surprised. Particularly since my contact was gay.

So anyway, I'm all for building closer client relationships, but I agree with the others, it's best to take their lead.

My Office Zilla · #9 (**permalink**) 05-13-2008

Hi Kylie! All the stuff below to say, if it lessens your professionalism in their eyes do you want them as a client? The answer for me is no. I want clients who see me as a person who knows when to act professional and when not to be affraid to be human! I want all my clients to be like your "lovely fluke"!

One of the things that turns me off about corporate america is that employees aren't viewed as PEOPLE. Individuals with families, dreams, hopes, etc. That being said you have to be realistic. There are two kinds of people in the world...Thinkers and Feelers.

Thinkers see every decision they make in black and white - once they have the facts and analyze the data they make a decision.
Feelers look at all the data and say, "How will option A and B affect the people?"
Thinkers are the ones who call you and immediately say, "Can you get back with me today on what color the sky is?" They will want to get to the point of the call!
Feelers call and preface their primary reason for calling with, "How did the kids do in the baseball tournament this weekend?" True Feelers want to reconnect and would be put off by someone demanding a question upfront.

Typically, the only time this doesn't hold true is when someone knows what type YOU are and tries to shift to accomodate. We are amazing creatures, aren't we?

Just in case anyone is curious all those ramblings above are based off of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (aka MBTI) which totally fascinates me!

Plus, something to confuse the mix even more - I'm a thinker professionally but tend to interact personally as a feeler because I'm an intimate extravert.

I know, TMI!

Monique · #10 (**permalink**) 05-13-2008

Sundi,

I get what your saying I'm an INTJ (Introvert, Intuition, Thinker, Judging). And I agree with everyone that it should be handled on a case by case basis.

Originally Posted by Sundi

Hi Kylie! All the stuff below to say, if it lessens your professionalism in their eyes do you want them as a client? The answer for me is no. I want clients who see me as a person who knows when to act professional and when not to be affraid to be human! I want all my clients to be like your "lovely fluke"!

One of the things that turns me off about corporate america is that employees aren't viewed as PEOPLE. Individuals with families, dreams, hopes, etc. That being said you have to be realistic. There are two kinds of people in the world...Thinkers and Feelers.

Thinkers see every decision they make in black and white - once they have the facts and analyze the data they make a decision.
Feelers look at all the data and say, "How will option A and B affect the people?"
Thinkers are the ones who call you and immediately say, "Can you get back with me today on what color the sky is?" They will want to get to the point of the call!
Feelers call and preface their primary reason for calling with, "How did the kids do in the baseball tournament this weekend?" True Feelers want to reconnect and would be put off by someone demanding a question upfront.

Typically, the only time this doesn't hold true is when someone knows what type YOU are and tries to shift to accomodate. We are amazing creatures, aren't we?

Just in case anyone is curious all those ramblings above are based off of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (aka MBTI) which totally fascinates me!

Plus, something to confuse the mix even more - I'm a thinker professionally but tend to interact personally as a feeler because I'm an intimate extravert.

I know, TMI!