Hi,

I have a friend who has been asking me for trip ideas to take his children during christmas vacation. He has said, "It's so nice not having to seek another travel agent while I have you".

I had only given him one advice so far - and he already is hinting that he would like to see me tomorrow for more suggestions and again making this "travel agent" remark as I do offer travel reservations and research through my business.

I feel, as a friend, I'm happy to help a friend with ideas, but on the other hand, it takes up my valuable business time when I offer him those assistance. To research for ideas for location, entertainments and making reservations can take up some of my valuable business time. So, should I bring up the the contract and payment plan should he continue to seek my assistance? But I do feel guilty seeking payment from helping a friend out - know what I mean?

If so, how do I bring it up without sounding like I put business before friendship. know what I mean? Maybe offer him a discount since he's a friend?

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Brenda A. Jones
www.brevos.com

I have the same problem with a friend. So far I have managed to avoid answering her. The thing is it is a lot of valuable time. I was thinking of saying something like 'my schedule is very busy now till whenever'. If you can wait till then, we can schedule an appointment to talk about it. With travel *this may be an immediate solution to your problem* since your friend may not want to wait. But with me, it's not that easy. My friend wants me to build her a Web site and that is a lot of time. She hates computers, doesn't want to learn anything at all to do it herself. She does know I am constantly busy because I tell her. You can casually work into the conversation what other people are charging and see what kind of response that gets you. Obviously you can't do it for free. What does your friend do? Is there a way you can barter services? Another big problem for doing something for free is sooner or later resentment will be a factor. If a problem comes up later on about anything, then you may think to yourself ' after what I did for them and how long it took me', and this is what I get now? To me it is the same exact rule that I apply to lending a friend money. Don't do it. If you do then just give the money to them and don't expect it back. Because if they don't pay you back, it can ruin your friendship. Just my own thoughts here.

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JoCarole
http://www.shoreofficeservices.com

I know it is hard but I suggest sitting down with your friend and telling them how you feel and why you feel that way. If they are true friends they will still be your friend after.

Andrea~

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Action Jackson Virtual Assistant|

Maybe find a good travel agent and the next time your friend asks about suggestions, give them the travel agent's contact information

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Kathy
www.theofficevirtuoso.com

I think sometimes we over think this because a good portion of us are women and we don't want to have anyone with "hurt feelings", and we like to help.

I get volunteered for a lot of things from well meaning friends who know I can do things quickly and I work from home, so it ought to be a snap. I will usually do ONE small thing, and say - just so you know, this took an hour. Normally, I charge x per hour, but did this on behalf of so and so. If any more time is required, I will need to charge you my normal rate, and as with all customers bill 5 hours up front. (Unless it's something I want to do for free for a specific organization.)

If it's something like a website (which I did just get suckered into because I know the financial situation behind the group's creation) I tell them upfront: "ANY paying jobs come first, dinner with my kid comes first, laundry comes first. I will work on this at my convenience. If that doesn't work for you, then you may need to figure out how to come up with funds to get a professional designer to do it."

They are happily working with me, and I don't lose my mind with their start up "oh yeah, we need to include this too" phone calls and emails.

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Cheryl O'Neil
Southern Orange County

Great advice Cheryl, however let me add that is is perfectly okay to say NO! Set your boundaries and stick to them and don't feel bad if you have to turn someone away.

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Lee Drozak
My Office Assistant

ha ha Lee - of course we can always say no. No just sounds so....final!

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Cheryl O'Neil
Southern Orange County

Reminds me of the time that there was a single dad on our street who had a little boy same age as my son. He used to ask if I could watch him while he ran to the store. Well running to the store became a 2+hour (with meals) watch so one day I asked him to watch my son while I ran out for a second and an hour later I returned. I was actually sitting chatting with another babysitting neighbor but I got my point across because he never asked me again. This was when I learned that it is okay to say no and not feel guilty.

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Lee Drozak
My Office Assistant

You can kill 'em with kindness, too. Like, say to your friend, I'd love to do this work for you, and since I value your friendship so much, I'm going to do this job for half price.

The next time, offer him a lifetime price of x% discount.

So you ease him into it, all the while telling him how much he means to you.

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Mary H. Ruth/Virtual Writing & Communications
http://www.writingVA.com

Mary, you are a life saver, I am in a similar situation right now. A lifetime discount great, great idea.

Once Again VAF comes to the rescue, what great co-workers I have.

Cheers!!

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Bernice
Energy Virtual Assistant