I've been working semi-virtually with a client in the town I live and after almost 5 months, I've come to the realization that I have done a horrible job of establishing boundaries. Specifically, keeping my contracted working hours, taking on more work than I have time for, routinely visiting the office of my client to help with office tasks (downloading software, etc.). My client also has me logging into her computer via remote viewer in order to complete some of my work. I often have to work around her schedule at inconvenient times to accomplish the tasks at hand. I'm getting my work done but I'm feeling frazzled and I know that I am completely responsible.

Is it too late to establish boundaries? If not, how would any of you go about making changes?

It's never too late to establish boundaries. The question is whether or not the client will be willing to accept the changes.

It sounds like you do have a contract with the client which hopefully outlines your business policies and processes. I would probably put together an email letting the client know what you are and are not willing to do. Define or re-define your boundaries, what hours you will work and that you can no longer offer the service of going into her office more than once a month.

Let her know there are specific and scheduled times you can remote into her computer to complete work and that you writing to establish those specific times.

You can start the email by phrasing it that either because you have additional business or other client matters, it's now become necessary to schedule specific tasks for when they will be done.

And then you need to stick to those boundaries. If she request work be done around her schedule, then you politely let her know that you cannot do work at that time. I'd also remind her that you are a fellow business owner and not an on-call employee.

If you don't have time to take on additional work, then tell her that. Or let her know that she can contract additional hours the following month which will give you more time to adjust your schedule with other work to provide her with additional help.

The main thing is to remember that you are the boss of you. You are the business owner and it's perfectly within reason for you to tell the client "No" if it doesn't work for you. You don't "have to" visit the office, nor do you "have to" work around her schedule. You are choosing to do so. And if it's not working for you, then you need to choose to stop doing it.

There was a somewhat similar discussion on another thread recently that you might want to check out which I think has some good suggestions for how to handle boundaries with a client. I would especially look at page 2 of the discussion where Andrea has provided an email sample that you could tweak to send to your client. You can read it HERE.

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Kimberly
Facebook Marketing Magic!

Thanks for your response Kimberly, that is really great advise.

I have found it to be very difficult without the safety net of being an employee to establish boundaries without fear of losing a client (obviously a personal issue as well). It's created some pretty messy situations. It's uncomfortable for me to do but absolutely necessary.

Another issue I need to address with her is she expects me to send her my schedule at the beginning of the week outlining when I'll be working (for her). What are you thoughts about that?

Karin
NW Biz Assist

As far as the week ahead schedule, my clients give me a job to do and deadlines to meet and that's it. They don't ask me WHEN I do it. They trust me to do the job. Your are an independent contractor not an employee. SHE could potentially run into trouble by calling you an IC but treating you as an employee. Different states have different laws regarding this.

It took me a while to set boundaries as well. I was stressed out. I found that when I set professional boundaries before we started, they respected me more than the clients I let them run my time.

I agree with Kimberly. Let her know that due to client commitments, your schedule has to change and then set YOUR schedule that you're willing to work and do your best to stick by it.

Let us know how it works out.

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Stephanie Finkbeiner - Balanced Business Service
Helping you balance more than the books

Glad you found it helpful.

The thing about fear of losing the high maintenance client is that the more time you spend trying to keep up with that client, the less time you have for marketing and making room for your ideal client. I completely understand the feeling but I got over it once I realized there were always going to be more clients and clients who better fit working with me.

I have turned down working with potential clients just because I didn't feel they were a good fit and it's always been the best choice as someone new always came along that fit as my ideal client.

As far as the schedule goes, I wouldn't do it. Again, you are not an employee. If she has deadlines for specific tasks, then she can let you know what those are and you can assure her that it will get done by that date. If it's a project that will take some time, let her know that you send her an email update by a certain date prior to the due date *briefly* outlining what's been done and what's left to do.

It's really a matter of helping the client better understand how you work and how your business works. If she isn't able to adjust to your boundaries, then it might be time to suggest that you help her transition to another VA or for you to help her find a PT employee. Sometimes just the mention of terminating the work relationship will be enough to help the client work harder to adjust to accepting your business policies and boundaries.

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Kimberly
Facebook Marketing Magic!

Thanks Stephanie and again, thank you Kimberly. You had a very interesting point about "keeping up" with that client. That's very much how it feels and I'm like running around catching jobs as she throws them at me and inevitably, some are dropping and I'm exhausted. I'm finally ready to do something about it from this point forward so thank you so much for putting into words what I know I need to do. It's just hard when you are in the middle of it all.

I sent an e-mail last night outlining many of the things you mentioned just not about the schedule, I may have to send a follow-up e-mail about that. I've also looked into employee vs. IC rules and yes, she's very much treating me like an employee and I'm so angry at myself for letting it get this far!

So far no response just e-mails with more work. It may end up that she is not a good fit for me but at least I can follow thru with reinstating my policies and see what happens.

Thanks again ladies, I've not been to this board for a while and have forgotten what an amazing source for support it is. I'm hanging around here more often!

I'll also let you know if she decides to respond.

Karin
NW Biz Assist

Karin do you have a set amount of hours a week that you work for her? Maybe that would be a good starting place in establishing boundaries. If you are "contracted" to work 15 hours a week and she is sending more work than you can handle then I would recommend that you setup up a system for her to prioritize the work.

You might want to use the delay feature in sending out emails. If you choose to work outside of your normal hours set your business email to only send during your office hours. Let her know you will only be checking your email during regular office hours. Don't give into temptation to check outside of those time. Make a folder that they go into directly so you don't have to scroll through them when you are checking your personal email.

I set my business phone to only ring during my business hours so that I am not tempted to take on clients during my "off" time.

Good luck! I know how difficult it is to set boundaries but we are so much happier when we do. No client is worth an ulcer!

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Lisa Olinda of Olinda Services
Keeping you on the path to success!
www.olindaservices.com

Hi Lisa, I was working 15 but I just reduced it to 10. Two hours per day M-F. I've let me client know via e-mail what I think I should focus on and that I wouldn't have the time to work on a MAJOR project that would have been ongoing in addition to the day to day.

That was a few days ago now and she has not responded to my e-mail. I have only received work related e-mails and she has been cordial.

It certainly gives me insight to the type of person she is and it's almost as if she was intentionally testing me to see what she could get away with.
She's either looking for another VA or has accepted my terms and is moving on. Either way is OK.

Thanks again everyone! I really appreciate your advise and I will continue to work on my boundary muscle.

She might not know how to respond either. Good for you on sending her an email though.

Originally Posted by JKVirtualOffice

The thing about fear of losing the high maintenance client is that the more time you spend trying to keep up with that client, the less time you have for marketing and making room for your ideal client. I completely understand the feeling but I got over it once I realized there were always going to be more clients and clients who better fit working with me.

This is so true! I am grateful to have learned this lesson for now I make it a priority to only contract with my ideal clients!

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Dawn Riley
A Virtual Assistant in Paradise
Our business is about making yours better