I can't say I've ever had a client who was an actual bully during the working relationship - but there was one who got quite pushy when we raised our rates (it just gave me more reason to stand firm and finally let her go.)

I have seen situations though where raising the rates to help assuage the frustration of dealing with a particularly high maintenance client has made a fair bit of difference for the service provider. But if someone is downright nasty then there isn't a 'fair' hourly rate as far as I'm concerned.

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I agree, drop them. I worked for a man who was like this. He was a basically good buy but could have a nasty temper and didn't much care who he took it out on. I witnessed it several times but he wasn't interested in my project so I never was a victim. Until I was put in charge of the launch of the new retail store his pet client was having us build.

One day, after a screw up on the *client's end* he ripped me a new one - in the middle of the hall, in front of the entire senior consulting staff. He yelled for about 5 minutes and then asked me if I was a "freaking moron (edited for politeness ) or what?" I told him "No, I'm not a freaking moron (edited again) but the client must be because she's the one who hired her staff that freaked (edit) up so why doesn't he go yell at her." He just stared at me for a minute and then walked away.

That night he took me to dinner at Cintronelle, one of the nicest restaurants in town. Never said I'm sorry - he doesn't ever say that - but that's what it was supposed to indicate. Dinner for 2 cost over $500 but didn't even being to pay back for how POd I was.

I was never so happy as when I was taken off that damn project. From the minute I was put on until the minute I got off it was miserable. Give me infights between the House and Senate any day over dealing with a spoiled, pampered billionaire who changes her mind at the drop of a hat.

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Amanda Moore
Virtual Assistant
VagabondetteVA Blog

I guess it would shock you all to say that I did put up with it. She's what we call here a baby boomer (at least 50 years old), non technical and very set in her ways. In the beginning I coached her through using Basecamp and how to attach files to her email but in the end, she began to skype me at 11pm at night and then berate me for not answering. Sending nasty emails AND withholding payment. I'd already paid my subcontractors for the work they'd done so that was MY money she was holding ransom.

I decided to try and get as much money out of her as possible and get the heck out of that relationship. Having her try to bully me has had a flow on effect onto the rest of my business which I did not realise until last night (I had a freak out and poor Lisa - embracing life had to calm me down). I did finally get rid of her but made it seem like it was her idea.

I can't say why I put up with it except that I must have been especially vulnerable the first time she tried it. I've got my big girl boots back on now and I'm going to move forward. It also makes me realise that we need to coach new clients on how to work with a Virtual Assistant. She tried to bounce all over my boundaries but I at least stood my ground in that respect. Again, a learning experience sent my way to help me grow as a business owner.

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Kylie Short
Tilda Virtual Services - Making virtual personal

Oh Kylie you did the right thing! I am so glad you have your big girl boots on now

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Dawn Riley
A Virtual Assistant in Paradise
Our business is about making yours better

Good Job Kylie!

I'm glad you did it.

We have no need for those people in our lives.

((((HUGS)))))
Deirdre

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Deirdre's Virtual Office

I am glad you rid her. One great thing about being a business owner is that we get to pick what kind of clients we want to work with. Ensuring that we enjoy our business is another plus as a owner.

If you put up with a client like that - then you wouldn't enjoy the venture as you could have.

I'd have rid her myself. You did the right thing!

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Brenda A. Jones
www.brevos.com

You should drop them immediately and tell them why. Didn't you start doing VA work in the first place so you wouldn't have to deal with people like this? I know I did!

Kylie, you're so right - you're one of the LAST people I'd expect to hear was putting up with this kind of thing.

I've had clients who pushed the boudaries, but we just push right back (gently) but this one sounds like a real manipulator. Good for you for knowing what's right for you and your business and taking steps to protect and maintain that balance!

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I've had a few who pushed my boundaries and I just pushed right back but this one... she is exactly that, a manipulator. In the end I was trying to recover my money ($1,000) and managed to get most of it. I guess it just goes to show that it doesn't matter what stage of your business you are at and how many clients you have, carefully screen/interview that potential client. Make sure you both have similar if not the same working styles. If your gut tells you to step back, then step back. I certainly won't be ignoring my own advice next time!!

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Kylie Short
Tilda Virtual Services - Making virtual personal

I am so sorry you had to go through an awful experience! Believe me when I tell you I've been there too! I had this client who I had for over a year. I would get projects here and there and I always turned them around right away, never with any problems. He was always very nice in his emails to me until one day...(enter JAWS soundtrack here).

Long story short, this client started to ask demand personal information from me (like why I was going back to school (he stated that my schooling would interfer with his projects) and trust me, if you read his emails, you would know why I declined to respond!). He also wanted to know "how much money" I was making off my team members! I was appalled to say the least.

Within a three day period, I had told him that if he harrassed me again, I was going to call the police and then report his email harrassment to his service provider. (Right before that, he told me he had found someone else to do the project. Funny how our last email transmission was 8:00 p.m. and his email to me the next day was 7:00 a.m. I guess he needed a way out of his contract so he resorted to pulling things out of his netherworld.)

I haven't heard a thing since!

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Doreen R. Patrick, MVA, ACS, CIVA
www.virtualbusinesspartners.net