Hi, I saw a post on here about Microsoft Office free sites so I took a crack at it. Now, I'm not sure if I'm staying with this name or not, so I haven't devoted a lot of time to the aesthetics of the site. When I decide on the domain and hosting I'd like to do more of a wordpress powered type website.

I also realize the hyperlinks to pages within the site aren't working properly.

I'd really appreciate feedback on wording. What is there, what should and shouldn't be there. I realized my About Page is the longest, but that's because I could use other people's words. I've been keeping a fairly regularly blog on my other site and that's easy too compared to trying to write about ME

Here's the link: http://terese.law.officelive.com/default.aspx of demo for now.

Thank you all.

I better get some sleep.

Welcome,
I took a quick look at your site and you've done a good job. The links on your home page don't go anywhere because the .aspx is missing in the html.
I use Office live too.
When you highlight each of the links in the editor, be sure to choose "hyperlink" option in top pane, then choose "a page on my website", choose the page you want it to point to and click ok. All done

I didn't notice anything else not working but I only did a quick scan.
Let me know if you need anymore help.

__________________
Christina Nelson
Vital Office Solutions

Hi Terese,

I just looked at your site and think you are doing a good job. I read through the content and I think it is good so far. Here are some of my observations as far as content goes (I am not a writer, but an avid reader, so please take that into consideration )

Home Page
Orange (suggested changes)

Your Line:
Your Virtual Legal Assistant works WITH solo attorneys and small firms to make work run smoother.

I wouldn't make the word "with" in all caps like that, if you want to stress that you work with solo attorneys rather than for (which I am assuming is what you want to get across)..perhaps the use of italics or different wording may be a better idea.

We’re human, we actually like attorneys, and we’re pretty darn qualified too
Perhaps removing the word actually might make the sentence flow better. Also, you wouldn't be offering your services to attorneys if you didn't like them, right?

As far as your About page...my About page is very long too and I have to condense it, absolutely, so I have very little suggestions there My only thought is to somehow get across that the bottom text are testimonials. Maybe you can use some sort of headline or break up the page with colors (another idea is to have a page specifically for testimonials). They need to pop rather than just looking like more text to read (and testimonials are text you want people to read!).

That is it! You really are off to a great start. Your personality comes through in your content. Looking forward to seeing your final result.

__________________
Darlene Victoria
Host of A Virtual Perception Podcast
Owner/Operator D. Victoria Virtual Assistance

Thanks guys. On my "real site" I've made the changes you suggested. And think they were great points.

I've also caught a few more typos.

Hi there, this thread has been moved to Copywriting and Content (please view this thread for info about why)

Hi Terese,

I just took a quick look at your site and it looks good, but I agree with Darlene's suggestions about taking out the emphasis where you have all-capped words and removing the word actually.

I like how your writing has a conversational tone to it that brings your personality out, but I would caution against becoming too casual. If you're targeting attorney's, remember how they would read this and what the overall effect of your writing style is and aim for that. I would also add more to your home page about how your services can save them time and money.

Terese, feel free to PM me if you'd like to talk about your site on a more personalized basis, I would certainly like to be able to help you out more if you'd like!

__________________
Kate V. Kerans, Virtual Paralegal
Kerans Virtual Assistance More tasks than time? We can help!
Your Virtual Paralegal Blog

Yes, I've changed those two things on my "master" plan as I very much agree with all of your input.

Kate, thanks for the offer I may be taking you up on that in the future. I see you are familiar with the legal market as well.

I'm still trying to get my name solidified I have a few domains I'm kicking around and need to finalize this decision before pressing onwards :-) Decisions, decisions...

Good luck Terese, hang in there!

__________________
Kate V. Kerans, Virtual Paralegal
Kerans Virtual Assistance More tasks than time? We can help!
Your Virtual Paralegal Blog

I agree with all the suggestions mentioned. I like that your personality comes out as well but you may want to avoid becoming to informal in such a professional industry.

Then I had 2 other notes:
1.)"Your Virtual Legal Assistant works WITH solo attorneys and small firms to make work run smoother. We make routine processes actually routine and manage client contact. If you don’t have clients we can assist you with that process too. " I would remove "actually" from this sentence as well.
2.) "Congratulations, today is your lucky day…you’ve discovered Your Virtual Legal Assistant and your life (well at least the attorney part) is about to get easier. " I just had a difficult time reading this sentence. Since it is the first sentence it may need to be reworded. The first thing I comprehend in compressed mode is this "you've discovered your virtual assistant and your life." It is my personal opinion only, but I try not to use parenthesis in a sentence that is too important because it can really break a sentence and a thought. This is a good example of that. "Today is your lucky day" is also a cliche which I was instructed, never to use in good writing. Since you are trying to have a more conversational tone, this may have been your intention. Anyway, I hope that was atleast moderately helpful.

You have a great start.... good luck.

__________________
[COLOR="Black"][COLOR="Pink"][FONT="Georgia"]Sarah Bernstein
Jackson Administrative Outsourcing[/FONT][/COLOR][/COLOR]
[url]www.jacksonao.com[/url]