Ah, I see - yes if he's not familiar with PHP it might be a bit of a challenge...but the WP site has really good troubleshooting tips if he gets stuck.
We use CuteFTP for our access client, but there is also Fetch (free and runs on Mac) and Cyberduck (OpenSource) if you don't want to invest in something.
As far as hosting goes, we have a few servers of our own so I'm not the best one to ask about outside hosting (we do offer hosting to members of the forums though,
click here for info and all of our hosting accounts do come with a MySQL database

)
I hope that helps! Try checking the General Website Development section for other posts about who uses what hosting companies - that might get you some more answers as well.